


Let Me Be of Use

by CyborgWrites



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, BAMF Lance, Heith - Freeform, Hurt Paladins, Insecure Lance, Kind of dark lance, Lance doesn't know how to protect the people he loves from himself, Lance has a dark past, Lance still loves team voltron and they still love him, Lancelot - Freeform, Langst, Lotor loves Lance okay?, M/M, Minor Klance, Redeemed lotor, Sad lance, Sad lotor, Shiro loves the fucking fuck out of Lance, Sleeper agent Lance, Smut, because I actually know what that means unlike jds and lm, magic lance, minor hance, morally grey lotor, nieves is the only one who understand lotor's methods and motivation, shancelot, shangst, spy lance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyborgWrites/pseuds/CyborgWrites
Summary: Lance increasingly feels out of place on the team despite Allura's reassurance. After a rough mission and a devastating argument between the  paladins, Lance feels the rift between him and the team grow even wider. Even when they manage to work it out, Lance is still terrifed that his dark past will catch up to him and the people he loves. Leave it to Lotor to kidnap him on top of it all. While the Paladins try to get Lance back, Lance and Lotor find common ground and even love. So... what does that mean for Voltron? For the Universe? For the budding romance between him and Shiro?*UPDATED SUMMARY*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this is bad. First fic for this fandom. The next chapters will be longer, I promise!

The paladins were seated for breakfast, chattering amongst themselves before they were due for training. If they noticed the silence of the blue, now red paladin, they didn't comment.

He didn't know what to do about it anymore, the growing weight in his chest. About the darkness slowly infecting his mind.

Shiro was back and everything was going to go back to normal... or so they thought. 

_As long as they need me... I can find the will to fight my demons rather than become them... I can still be a hero. I can still be useful._

But Lance had meant everything he'd said to Keith about Allura's impressive progress in piloting blue. About his unsure place on the team. And if he felt a treacherous twinge of relief when Shiro was unable to reclaim the black lion....

Well he'd just keep that to himself.

"Lance?"

Lance looked up from his untouched food goo, apparently having been giving it the Stare of Death while lost in thought.

"What's up, Allura?"

"Are you alright? You've been... off lately."

He winced.

"Sorry. I'll try to be better, I just-"

"It's not a reprimand. I'm just worried for you."

Lance offered her a smile, shrugging her worries off.

"Just have a lot on my mind. Don't worry too much about it, princess."

"If you're sure..." she said doubtfully.

"I'm sure."

He stood, dumping his plate and leaving, confused paladins staring after him.

"He didn't eat a bite," said Hunk, who'd been furtively watching his friend while shooting ideas off to Pidge.

Coran frowned, fingers twirling his mustache as he stared at the Lance's empty seat.

Lance was arguably his favorite person on the ship and if he wasn't doing alright...

"I'll go check on him."

They all heard the silent command to finish their goo.

Coran thought Lance might be in his room but found it empty upon arrival. His next stop was the observation deck, but Lance wasn't there either. 

"Quiznack. Where are you, my boy?"

He passed by the training deck, surprised to find it occupied, a lone figure surrounded by gladiators, bayard split into two guns.

"Lance?"

The paladin moved as the gladiators charged, combining a fighting style Coran had never seen- almost like dancing, with his shooting skills.

It was breathtaking.

_Has Lance always been so flexible?_

He moved like water, gracefully wild, cool and yet vicious- like a cat playing with its food.

_We never see this side of him in training. I'm assuming he doesn't show this side of himself during missions or he'd be less worried about his place here..._

He continued to watch Lance's dance, one that was equal parts evasive acrobatics, calculated strikes and deathly accurate shots.

"It's like he's a different person," Coran whispered. 

Having seen enough he decided to enter the training deck.

"End training sequence! Lance, my boy-"

Barely a moment later he was pressed up against the wall, Lance's hand on his throat and the other pointing a blaster at his head, Coran's feet dangling as the boy held him up with surprising strength.

"L-lance," he choked out, noting the vicious look on the Cuban boy's face... and the fact that his pupils were blown wide- blue eyes almost completely black, Lance looking at him but not quite seeing him, distrust clear on his face.

Lance didn't recognize him.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran learns something about Lance. Uncle Coran is a good uncle. Coran doesn't want blue boy to hurt. Blue boy is gonna hurt anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter still isn't as long as I wanted it to be but it's for sure longer than the last one. I really love Lance and Coran having a familial bond and Coran is someone who I think would always see Lance as his favorite even if he never says as much to the other paladins.

Coran had only been helpless a handful of times in his life.

First when his sister had passed from a rare and terminal illness.

Then when his nephew had screamed for her at night, long after being placed in Coran's care.

When his planet and king were lost to him forever.

Every time Allura made a choice that could cost her life.

And now, when no matter what he did Lance's grip around his throat wasn't faltering, and he could barely feel the blaster digging into his head from lack of oxygen.

His hands clawed desperately at Lance's.

"L-Lance...please... snap- snap out of it."

Just when he felt his vision begin to fade, the pressure around his neck faded and he dropped to the ground.

Taking in desperate gulps of air he looked looked up, meeting Lance's horrified eyes.

Lance began to back away, shaking his head and shrinking into himself until he sunk to his knees.

"Coran... I didn't- I almost... oh my god."

"Lance," he rasped, rising shakily to his feet, "what happened just now?"

Lance couldn't answer him; he was shaking, rocking himself back and forth.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... sorry sorry sorry..."

Coran approached slowly, reaching a hand out for him.

"Lance, it's okay. But you have to tell me wha-"

"No it's not! None of this is okay. I'm a monster! I lost control of it and almost killed you!"

_What?_

"It? What "It", Lance?"

Lance froze.

_I didn't mean to let that slip._

But, Lance thought, he owed it to Coran to explain why he'd nearly been choked to death. Except...

"Coran, if I tell you, do you promise you won't tell anyone before I'm ready?"

The Altean must have known how desperate he was because after a moment he nodded, offering Lance his hand and helping him up.

"Let's take this to the observation deck shall we?"

Lance sighed.

"Okay."

It took them a while before they got situated but before long they were sitting down staring into a void of stars, each of them with a blanket wrapped around them for comfort.

Lance didn't seem like he knew where to start so Coran figured he'd just go ahead and ask.

"Now, my boy, do you want to tell me what that was about on the training deck?"

Lance snuggled into his blanket, eyes fixed on the floor. He took a deep breath before saying what had been eating at him for over a month.

"I'm a lie, Coran. I thought I was just... a boy from Cuba who wanted to touch the stars. Then I was just a boy from Cuba who became paladin. Maybe not the best...but still."

Coran's head snapped in his direction.

"Now wait just a minute-"

Lance gave him a pleading look.

"Let me finish. Please."

Coran nodded, still upset that his favorite paladin failed to realize how special he truly was.

"Last month, I felt a sort of shift? in my mind. That's when I started remembering things about my life before the Garrison. Gaps in my memory I had never noticed before. The Garrison wasn't a step toward my dreams. It was a mission for Agent Nieves."

"Who is that?'

"Me, Coran. Or at least, he's who I used to be. An agent for Latin American Collective Intelligence. I was ...recruited... at a very young age. Teachers noticed my skills in problem solving, interpersonal skills, the way I learned language quickly... things like that. I had no way of knowing that one of my teachers was one of them. She came to my house, promised my family that I'd receive the best education at an academy for "gifted children". They said my family would get paid every month I was away. They agreed. Said it would be good for me."

"But it wasn't?" Coran guessed.

Lance shrugged.

"I don't know. I mean, we learned the typical stuff: history, math, more languages, science, even music... then there were more unorthodox classes. We learned how to fight, how to lie, how to kill," Lance sighed, running a hand through his hair, " Before long, we were going on missions around the globe. By the time I was given my last mission, I'd been hardened by the job having more blood on my hands than I have as a paladin. Back then, I'd long forgotten what it was like to be more than just a weapon. So when I was fifteen, I was assigned to infiltrate the Garrison as a sleeper agent. I was... programmed? They gave me a goal and put a time limit on it -three years- and put me to sleep until I was scheduled to wake back up. I became someone new. Just a student who dreamed of being a pilot," he said with a bitter smile.

"And you loved being that?"

" _Yes_ ," Lance whispered, eyes burning with tears, "I loved it so much. Even when I was second to Keith in everything and I felt like Pidge and Hunk only tolerated me... I loved it so much because I felt _alive_. I could afford sympathy and fun- something that had been stolen from me. It was a military institution but somehow I was... free."

Coran rested a hand on his shoulder.

"And now?"

"I'm torn between my need to be useful and my desire to be human. Nieves was cold and vicious but a damn good fighter. But he doesn't have my heart. And I want to be a more useful paladin but that means risking letting him out. And I'm afraid that if I let him get control, I'll be gone- that's why I try to give him an outlet through training. I want to believe that my heart is more important than his skills... but my heart is breaking more and more every day. I'm so terrified, Coran," he whispered. "What if I'm the only one who cares about my humanity?," he asked frantically," What if he does take over and no one cares that he's not me? What if everyone finds out about him and are disappointed that I'm too afraid to be him?"

"No."

Lance gasped as he was pulled to Coran's chest, the Altean's arms wrapped firmly around the blue paladin as if he could hug it all away because he couldn't very well punch Lance's past in the face.

"Listen to me very carefully, Lance. I can't speak for the other paladins but, if they don't appreciate you then they frankly don't deserve you. You are a very special person, Lance. Rest assured that if you were gone, I would miss you more than I could possibly describe."

Lance peered up at him, blue eyes so hopeful Coran felt his heart crack at the sight.

"Really?"

"Of course, my boy. I swear it on my mustache."

Lance giggled, wiping away his tears.

"Thanks, Coran."

Coran only held him tighter.

"Thank _you,_ Lance. You've been here for me, listening to my stories. Quiznack, Lance, you nearly died for me. You deserve to have someone you can count on."

Lance smiled, more true to the paladin Coran had met when he awoke after 10,000 years in cryostasis and so like the sister and nephew he'd lost to tragedies of different kinds.

_I'll do whatever it takes not to lose you, too, my boy._

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a diplomatic mission, Lance is forced to make a risky decision.

Lance didn't mean for it to happen the way it did.

They were on a diplomatic mission to a planet known as Ti'Angar, which was in the middle of a civil war. Two Ti'Angarian clans, the Ti'Nisha and the Ti'Gula had been fighting for decades over the throne but had recently agreed to arrange a marriage between their two heirs in order to unite the clans and establish peace. It was a good idea except that not everyone on either side was on board and the Ti'Nisha were especially hostile toward, Tulot, the Ti'Gula lord and warrior who would be marrying their beloved prince, Rijum. That's when they sent a message to the Castle of Lions, having heard word of Princess Allura's survival and Voltron's return.

So the paladins were there to make sure the wedding proceeded without conflict and that any...interruptions... should they arise be handled swiftly.

Shiro and Hunk, as the largest and strongest members of the team stood on either side of the two grooms, ready to cover them at a moment's notice. Lance could see a confidence in Hunk that hadn't been there when they first became paladins. He smiled proudly in Hunk's direction. Not that Hunk could see Lance. Lance was high up, kneeling on a beam that gave him a good enough vantage point that he could aim and shoot in any direction but still tucked far enough out of the way so as to not be seen unless someone really knew where to look. Pidge and Keith were at the entrance, the first line of defense if anyone did decide to crash the wedding. Allura and Coran were dressed to the nines, sitting front row as the Ti'Gula high priest, Witril, and the Ti'Nisha high priestess, Blureem, beckoned the two grooms forward.

Each groom was accompanied by their mother, kneeling before their spiritual leaders as each woman placed a crown of flowers native to the planet on their sons' heads. Lance let out a wistful sigh. He'd not been to a wedding in a long time and he found he missed participating in those life-altering social rituals. He admired the grooms, noting that they seemed shy toward each other but not as hostile as one would expect for two people marrying someone they barely knew and who had been a longtime enemy only days before. He would have been convinced  that they had only just met if he hadn't had the privilege of catching Rijum alone the night before and getting the real story from him.

The paladins had only just been shown to their rooms when Lance decided to explore the Ti'Nisha's castle. He didn't get that far when he neared one of the balconies and spotted a lone figure looking up at the stars, constellations Lance didn't even bother to recognize.

"Prince Rijum?"

The prince startled, turning back to face Lance.

"Paladin Lance!"

Lance offered him an easy smile.

 "Please, it's just Lance."

The prince nodded, smiling in return.

"Would you like to join me?"

"Sure," said Lance, moving toward the balustrade of the balcony, more stars visible in Ti'Angar's sky than on any planet Lance had been to so far. "Can't sleep?"

Rijum chuckled. "You could say that."

"Scared?"

Rijum shook his head too quickly.  "Oh, no."

Lance gave the prince a sideways glance.

The Ti'Angarians were beautiful in Lance's opinion. They were all fairly humanoid beings which was fortunate for Lance's propensity for visual appreciation. None of them had hair, though, only ancestral markings to adorn their bald heads and their ears came in the form of small ridges lining the sides of their heads. The Ti'Nisha clan was known for their bright, coral skin and deep orange eyes, their markings a deeper red than the rest of their skin. They looked like fire, bright and all consuming. Meanwhile the Ti'Gula had greyish blue skin, pitch black markings and vibrant purple eyes, reminding Lance of the Caribbean sky just before a storm, dark and cleansing.

Simply beautiful.

And from what Lance had seen, Tulot was the most precious stone among gems as far as Ti'Gula went.

"Then you can only be excited."

Prince Rijum's head snapped in his direction.

"I mean- I- well- I never- how did you-"

"When it comes to events like this... events in your life that change your world forever... there's only two things that keep you up the entire night before:  fear or anticipation."

Rijum sighed.

"I am looking forward to being joined to Tulot, yes."

"And I'm guessing it has to do with more than just the honor of establishing peace between both your families?"

Rujim kept his eyes to the stars.

"So much more," he whispered.

Lance smirked when the realization hit him.

"You **know** him!" He whispered excitedly ,"Oh my god- you two have had some kind of forbidden romance thing going on and you convinced your parents that marrying each other was the only way to achieve peace and now the war will end and you get to be with your secret lover without all the sneaking around. Is that it?"

Rijum chanced a guilty look at Lance.

"It... might be?"

"Oh my god."

_I'm in a telenovela right now._

"I know."

"Genius!"

Rijum smiled shyly at him.

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Everyone gets a happy ending. It's great. Really, Rijum, I'm happy for you."

Rijum clasped his hand on Lance's shoulder.

"Thank you, Lance."

And now here they were, ready for Rijum to get to officially and openly be with the man of his dreams.

Man, Lance loved a good love story.

He looked back down at the couple, Tulot gazing down at Rijum with pure love and adoration.

_I would die for their happiness holy shit...._

Witril and Blureem were just finishing the last part of the ceremony. A type of wine was poured into each family's ancestral chalice. Rijum and Tulot took their own and presented their chalices to eachother and recited their vows.

"Within this chalice is the fruit of my land, the certainty of my home, and the promise of a life until and after death."

Shared wealth, shared home and family, and a shared life with reunion in death.

With that, they took a drink from their partner's chalice before drinking from their own, to symbolize placing the partner before self.

"You are wed and made one on this day as has been seen. Live and die together as Angar Tal, Mother of All, so demands," recited Witril and Blureem.

The couple turned to present their join hands to their family and friends and the room erupted in applause.

Of course, that's when everything went to shit.

The doors burst open and Keith and Pidge instantly began fighting the intruders who tried to make their way toward the newlyweds who were already being escorted out by Shiro and Hunk through another exit.

Some of the guests had joined the fight but those who were not warriors ran for their lives, screaming in terror, mothers trying to protect their children. Keith and Pidge were quickly becoming overwhelmed and Allura was protecting Tarlim Sar, the Ti'Nisha King, as she led him to safety. Of course, while she protected him, Coran protected her. Lance was a damn good sharpshooter and he took outt as many targets as he could but they just kept coming.

_What a mess..._

"There's too fucking many," he hissed into the comms.

The wedding must have pissed off more people than they anticipated.

He heard Keith's voice in the comms.

"They're going to overtake us."

Keith and Pidge were great fighters- quick, agile and vicious. Keith was fighting more and more like a Blade every day.

But they weren't  invincible. They didn't have ice and ash for blood. They weren't Nieves.

But Lance could be. For a while at least.

Nieves perked up in Lance's psyche.

_You're gonna let me play?_

He could feel the agent smirking.

_"This isn't a game. You come out and take out the people who want to hurt my friends and then you give me back the reigns."  
_

_Friends? Ha, they let you call them that? Also, I gotta admit you're getting really arrogant about this body sharing thing..._

_"Shut up."_

_Nah. Not until you stop trying to deny that I am a PART of you, not just some alter ego. This body was mine before it was yours. Just because you've gone soft-_

_"There is no shame in compassion."_

Nieves paused.

_No. There isn't. It just never had a place in my world... not the real kind anyway. But as a child assassin and spy...killing was my purpose more often than not- I've toppled regimes and corporations overnight doing so. And I've long let go of my shame for that because I had no room for anything else... but I'm game. Let me out and I'll take care of the targets._

_"Thank you."_

Lance closed his eyes, stopped fighting the blood lust that had been singing under his skin. His sniper rifle shifted in his hands and two bladed guns took its place. There was a hum in his mind as the control shifted, blue eyes flying open- no trace of warmth or fear, only death.

 Nieves looked down at the chaos below smirking to himself.

"Heh, looks like a party."

He dropped down, using one of the Ti'Nisha protestors to soften his landing, which happened to be right in between Pidge, Keith and the intruders.

He smirked at the paladins who stared at him in shock, sensing something different about their comrade.

"Let's dance," he said, stretching a hand back without looking at his target and shooting an oncoming attacker head on.

They didn't stand a chance.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team meets Leonel Antonio Nieves Salinas. Yes, his initials are L.A.N.S. Don't judge me lol

When Lance joined their fight, Keith and Pidge hadn't been able to tell just how many attackers they had taken on until Lance was practically mowing them down. While they finally had room to breathe, it was terrifying.

Great.

But terrifying.

He was evading them in such a way that he could use their own attacks to attack the rest, twisting an arm here, grabbing a leg there, stabbing them with their own swords and licking his lips as if he could somehow taste the blood in the air.

Maybe he could.

Keith was skillfully weaving through the crowd and swinging his sword, trying to make his way to Pidge who was struggling with an opponent who was three times her size.

He locked eyes with her, launching himself into the air and slicing the Ti'Nisha in half.

"Thanks," she said.

"No problem. I think we're almost done here."

"You mean **he's** almost done," she muttered, glancing warily at where Lance was, flipping over one opponent to wrap his leg around another's head and twisting, breaking his neck and sliding down.

There were three left and they thought they had a chance if they charged all at once.

Lance smiled, all teeth and Pidge felt her bones freeze at the sight.

His twin guns were gone, replaced by a bow.

Keith frowned.

_A bow... isn't that a tad arrogant?_

But Lance drew back the string and between his fingers were three arrows made of pure energy.

Lance smirked, waiting for just the right moment and released.

Three bodies hit the floor with a thump and the paladins stared at each other, unsure of what to say.

Lance noticed their stricken expressions, arching one of his thin brows.

"What?"

Before either them could answer, they heard Allura's frantic voice in the comms.

"Paladins, the attackers have injured Shiro and cornered Hunk. Tulot and Rijum are in danger!"

Nieves gasped, feeling Lance's reaction like a punch to the gut.

_What the hell, man?_

_"We have to go!"_

_Alright, just-_

_"NOW!"_

Lance huffed, sprinting out of the hall and through the exit he'd seen Shiro and Hunk go through. Pidge and Keith were close behind him. They glanced at each other, unsure what to make of Lance's off demeanor.

When they arrived, Shiro was crumpled on the ground looking worse for wear but there were bodies littered around him so they knew he gave as good as he got.

Hunk was, as Allura said, backed into a corner and Tulot, bless him, had taken a sword off one of the dead and was defending Rijum with everything he had. Unfortunately, one of the attackers got in a lucky hit and their sword pierced into his side. Rijum screamed in terror and grief, as Tulot fell to the ground, bleeding.

Lance saw this and was overcome with rage.

_"It wasn't supposed to be like this! They just wanted peace... They wanted to be happy..."_

Nieves never thought little Lancey Lance's blood-lust would come to equal his own.

He gritted his teeth, growling low in his throat.

_Well... ain't we just full of surprises today?_

It was a bittersweet moment for Nieves as he felt his vision go black and it became impossible to tell which one of them was in control anymore.

When Lance came back to himself Nieves had returned to the depths of his psyche, every last attacker was dead, Rijum was still shaking with hiccuping sobs holding an injured but alive Tulot to his chest, Keith was holding up a barely conscious Shiro while the three more aware paladins stared at him in fear.

Dread coiled in Lance's gut.

"Pod," he said finally, avoiding their eyes. "We have to get Shiro and Tulot to a pod."

He turned to help Rijum who looked up at him tearfully.

"He'll...be alright?"

Lance nodded, though he felt distant to the outside world while he warred within himself.

"Yes."

_"They know... they know I'm a monster."_

_So dramatic._

_"I'm not the coldblooded killer here."_

_Ha! Could've fooled the fuck out of me. That blood-lust back there?_

_"What about it?"_

_It wasn't mine._

_"You're lying."_

_Nope! You saw your buddy Rijum's hubby get hurt and went psycho. Had nothing to do with me. It was aaall Lancey Lance._

_"I- I don't believe you!"_

_You and I, we're not so different. The sooner you accept that, the easier it'll be for us to share this body._

_"You and I are nothing alike. You don't love anyone!"_

_But I could._

_"Wait...what?"_

_You can tap into my killer instincts without me being in control now... who's to say I can't do the same? Tap into all your lovey dovey shit?_

_"Would you...even want to?"_

_Who knows, man? Who knows..._

It felt like a blur. Lance barely remembered carrying Tulot to the Castle and putting him in a pod. He heard Keith and Pidge's harsh whispers to Allura in the corner, her face set into a frown as she glanced between them and Lance who was on the bed opposite Hunk, who was silent while Coran assessed his injuries, not so urgent that he needed the pod but he was still pretty banged up.

"Lance."

He looked up, Allura was standing in front of him, Keith and Pidge at her side with unreadable expressions on their faces.

He heard Nieves let out a low whistle in his head.

_That's not good._

“Yes, princess?”

“Will you tell me what happened back there? I want to hear your report.”

He looked down.

“I can’t.”

Her eyes narrowed.

“And why not?”

He sighed, knowing this was going to end badly no matter what he said.

“Because I can’t remember all of it?”

“How do you not remember!”

“I kind of… blacked out?”

“Well, try because from what I’ve heard you-”

Lance cut her off with a bitter laugh.

“You’ve already made up your mind that I’m at fault somehow. That I’m guilty of something. So why don’t you just tell me what Keith and Pidge were whispering to you about and I’ll clarify since they get a private audience with you and I don’t.”

He could feel Nieves nodding his approval.

_Bite back, Lance. Bite back._

_“Hush.”_

She seemed to consider him for a moment, searching his eyes for something. He didn’t know what. Finally, she nodded.

“Very well. Why don’t we just start over? Pidge and Keith were there. They can bring up their concerns with you and we’ll go from there.”

Lance stared at them, waiting. They seemed caught off guard as if they hadn’t expected to be put on the spot so soon.

_“Pfft. Welcome to my world.”_

“Well,” Lance said, trying to reign in his irritation, “ask away.”

Pidge cleared her throat, fiddling with her glasses.

“Lance, we noticed that you seemed… different earlier. You dropped down from the ceiling with an attitude we’d never seen before. You took down those attackers with skill we’ve never seen in you and what’s more… you seemed to enjoy killing them.”

“Yeah, man,” said Keith, “we barely recognized you. You were like a totally different person. So much so that Pidge and I were… well, we were…”

“Terrified?” Lance offered.

Keith looked away, not denying it.

Lance caught Coran’s gaze from across the room, giving the ginger-haired man a helpless look.

“You were right to be,” he said, not breaking eye-contact with Coran, who sighed. Lance could already feel ice in his chest.

Allura frowned.

“Why are you saying that?”

Lance didn’t answer, anxiety leaving him frozen and unable to move or speak.

“Lance,”

His shoulders shook, a huff escaping his chest, followed by a giggle which quickly transitioned into hysterical laughter.

He looked back at them, a gleeful look on his face that felt too wrong. Practiced.

“Lancey Lance isn’t here right now. Please Leave a message.”

They heard Coran curse from across the medbay.

“Princess, paladins, back away from him.”

They did, not knowing why only that their friend wasn’t behaving in a way that they could understand anymore. Maybe they never had.

Lance turned to the older Altean, cocking a brow.

“Coran, nice to see you again.”

“Nieves,” he said with a nod, “I wish I could say the same.”

The agent scoffed.

“Well I just can’t make anybody happy today, can I? I save lives and Lance is mad, his friends are mad, you’re mad…”

“Where is Lance, Nieves?”

“Hiding,” Nieves grunted with a dismissive wave, hopping off the bed which immediately put everyone more on edge.

Pidge cleared her throat, drawing Nieves’ attention.

“Are you… an alter ego?”

Nieves scowled, glaring down at her.

“I hate that term… No, I’m not. One could even argue that your Lance is the alter ego here. This body was mine first. Lance is the result of reprogramming and temporary amnesia.”

“But you and Lance have control at different times?”

“Yes,” he said through gritted teeth.

“So, who are **you**?”

“Leonel Antonio Nieves Salinas, Agent of Latin American Collective Intelligence.”

“But you only recently became an adult!” said Keith.

Nieves shrugged.

“They recruit pretty young sometimes. In my case, very young.”

Allura frowned.

“How old were you when you were recruited?”

“Five,” he said.

Allura exchanged a look with Coran.

“So, you were a spy?” she asked.

“Among other things…”

“Like?...”

“I was also an assassin.”

“How old were you when they began teaching you how to kill?”

“Seven. Nothing so hands on yet- just poisons and bombs. We were eight when they started teaching us to use weapons and nine when we started learning to use our bodies to fight. Then they gave each of us a target and we had to eliminate them to pass to the next grade.”

Allura tried to keep her face neutral as she asked her next question.

“And who was your first target?”

“Another student.”

They all gasped, staring at him in horror.

“It was like that for everyone. They wanted to weed out the weak ones,” he explained, “and they wanted to make sure we would be willing to kill one of our own if they ever went rogue- a way to foster loyalty to the institution rather than each other, you could say. Hell, maybe they just didn’t want to spend more resources than necessary on mediocrity. But we were also our target’s target. It was either me or him and in the end, I won and he… didn’t.”

“That’s brutal.”

That time it was Hunk who spoke. He had seemed so out of it, it almost seemed as if he hadn’t been listening but Nieves knew when someone just knew how to wait.

“It was. But it was an initiation into a brutal life, after that- after killing someone I had studied with, eaten with and interacted with on a daily basis- a kid like me… I was numb to everything else in comparison. It was to be my way of life. There was no more childhood or innocence to enjoy so I took joy in what I had left and that was being an agent.”

Hunk stared at him more intensely than he’d ever looked at anyone.

“What about us? Would you kill us? Kill me? And... enjoy it?”

Nieves stared back, face blank as they all held their breath waiting for the answer that could make or break their team.

“I don’t know. I guess it depends,” he said honestly.

Hunk bowed his head, putting his face into his hands.

“That’s… so much worse than yes,’ he said with a strangled laugh.

“I know,” Nieves said.

Uncertainty was a friend to no one, much less Nieves who had long grown accustomed to the thought that his life was not meant to be a long one. It was the only certainty he had. But everything else? Everything else was too messy, especially things like interpersonal relationships that involved genuine feelings. They confused him and confusion could make his predetermined short life even shorter if he wasn’t careful.

_“Wow, Snow, that’s really deep.”_

_Shut. Up._

_“Nah. Not until you admit that I’m part of you and not just some alter ego…”_

_Don’t turn my own words against me, asshole._

_“You’re the one who said that you had potential to feel. I’m trying to be encouraging.”_

_You’re being a pain in the ass._

“Wait,” said Hunk, “so why were you at the Garrison?”

“When I was fifteen I was given a mission to infiltrate the Garrison as a sleeper agent. The programming would wear off when I was 18 but in the meantime, I still had my goal and training regimen programmed to take effect when under the right conditions and I wouldn’t remember it all until the programming wore off.  So, I became Lance. Lance… he was just like any other student and more importantly he had all the humanity I was forced to suppress. Since I had to be him for so long, when he finally remembered my life, our psyche split and now we take turns controlling this body as is deemed appropriate. He’s the soft affectionate one and I’m…not.”

Hunk looked like he wanted to cry by the end of it.

“Can you let him back out? I want to talk to him.”

Nieves was silent for a moment, sighing when Lance’s voice was too loud in his head.

“Fine,” he huffed, sitting back down on the bed, closing his eyes and going still. He let the storm of emotion brewing in the back of his mind wash over him and when he opened them again, there were tears in his eyes.

“Hunk?” he whispered.

“Lance?”

“Yeah, buddy,” he said with a nod and then Hunk was barreling toward him and crushing him to his chest.

“Lance!”

Lance didn’t even care that he couldn’t breathe. He just took in the one paladin who seemed unwilling to let him go while Allura, Keith and Pidge kept their distance. Coran was beside him and Hunk checking the computer that showed Shiro and Tulot’s vitals. But he seemed more relaxed now that Nieves had given Lance the control again.

Allura smoothed the fabric of her dress, deliberating.

“Lance, if you could please explain-” she began, only to be cut off by Keith.

“Explain why the hell you elected not to tell us you had some multiple personality secret killer shit going on!”

Hunk glared at him.

“ **Keith. Cool it.** ”

“No! He has an alter ego that ‘doesn’t know’ whether or not it will strike his fancy to kill any or all of us and Lance didn’t think to tell a soul?”

Pidge nodded. “And Lance is the one who says we shouldn’t have secrets.”

Lance knew Pidge was right. He shouldn’t have kept the secret but he’d been so afraid of this exact reaction.

“I knew,” said Coran. “How do you think I knew Nieves by name as soon as he appeared?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Allura asked.

“I didn’t want to break Lance’s trust,” Coran whispered.

“What about our trust?” barked Keith.

“Oh, so now you don’t trust him?” hissed Hunk.

Keith bristled.

“He’s the one who doesn’t trust us! And you’re the one who asked him if he would kill us-”

“I asked Nieves! This is Lance, my best friend. He’s all of  **our** friend and part of this team!”

“Is he?”

The silence was immediate, nothing but the sound of Keith’s heavy breathing filling the room.

Keith looked at Lance who looked as if he’d been struck in the face and Keith’s heart was instantly filled with regret. He remembered their conversation in his room and knew he’d just confirmed Lance’s worst fears. Fears Keith wished he’d known how to put to rest then and that he knew he likely couldn’t now.

He reached out for the other paladin who flinched away from him, hot tears burning down his cheeks.

“Lance… I didn’t mean that, I was just so-”

But it was too late. Lance shook his head, slipping out of Hunk’s arms and storming out of the medical bay, Hunk running out after him but not before shooting Keith a thunderous look.

Keith stared after them, wanting to follow them but too afraid to say the wrong thing and hurt Lance again.

“That… was a mess,” Pidge sighed.

Allura could only nod solemnly in agreement.

“I should have said something… I let this get out of hand and once more our team is falling apart…”

In that moment, one of the pods hissed open and Shiro staggered out, Coran quickly moving to his side and avoided looking at the other three.

He smiled at them, still bleary-eyed from cryo sleep.

“What I miss?”

His expression immediately switched to one of concern when he noted their sorrowful expressions and silence.

“What happened? Where are Hunk and Lance?”

“We might have had an argument?” Pidge answered, still not looking him in the eye.

Shiro's eyes narrowed.

_An argument that has everyone looking like they killed someone’s dog?_

“Explain. Now.”

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets better dot com. Shiro helps out. Lance gets a lot of love and appreciation. Also, I did the thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So even though this fic as a whole is Lance-centric Lancelot, I will be giving other characters some attention as far as backstory and development/interactions with other characters goes. So the first half of this will be mostly about Keith and Shiro before we cut to Hunk and Lance and then others. Also, this will be eventual Shancelot. Thanks to everyone who commented yesterday. I really appreciate each and every one of you.  
> EVERYONE LOVES LANCE OKAY?

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling and exhaling deeply to calm himself.

"So, let's see if I got this right... Lance has a murderous alter ego or something?"

"Correct," answered Coran.

"And he didn't tell us because he was afraid of how we would react?"

"That's right," said Allura.

He turned toward Keith who flinched at the look on Shiro's face.

_Oh no... not The Look._

"And you thought backing him into a corner, ganging up on him and yelling at him was the best course of action?"

Keith looked away, guilt eating his insides.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, Kogane."

Keith's eyes widened, wet with tears. He turned back to Shiro.

_Kogane? He only calls me that when he's really mad at me..._

Shiro and Keith hadn't always been close. They had different mothers and Keith had never known his. But Mr. Kogane had been married before meeting Keith's mother and had Shiro, who was given his mother's last name- which was fitting since the guy was a total mama's boy. The two parents had agreed that the boys should keep in contact which meant Keith had often visited Shiro and his mother, who actually cared for Keith a great deal which only earned him more resentment on Shiro's part.

_"She's my mom, Kogane. Find your own. You already get dad all to yourself."_

It wasn't until their father died out in space and Shiro's mother took custody of Keith that they began to grow closer in their shared grief. They were a happy family for a while until tragedy struck again and Shiro's mother died in an accident. Since then, all they had was each other.

_"It's just you and me Keith."_

Hurt quickly transitioned into anger and Keith glared at his brother, fist clenched so tightly he thought his palms might bleed.

"Takashi," he growled, low and defiant.

Shiro took a step back, a stricken expression on his face.

_Only mom ever called me that..._

"Everyone out. I want to talk to Keith alone," he said.

Pidge was out before he even finished his sentence and Coran was close behind her.

Allura hesitated, looking between them both concern clear in her eyes.

"I've already let harsh words fracture this team enough, Shiro. Perhaps-"

"With all do respect, princess," Shiro said, not taking his eyes off Keith, "this is between me and my little brother. We've gotten past worse than this so if you would please give us some privacy, I would appreciate it."

"Oh- so you two are actually- I see. Be that as it may, I am still highly concerned. You'll have your privacy. However, if you haven't worked it out in two vargas, I'm going to assume the worst and come find you. Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

She nodded, ignoring Keith's betrayed expression and walking out hoping that she made the right choice.

When they heard the door hiss shut behind her, Keith turned back to Shiro.

They stared each other down for a long moment.

Keith swallowed the lump in his throat.

He hated Shiro in that moment.

Hated him for looking so much like their dad with an expression of pure disappointment.

"Why?"

Keith startled, realizing Shiro had finally spoken.

"Why what?"

"Why did you question Lance's position on the team the way you did? You know how insecure he is, never mind that he was literally 85% of your goddamn impulse control when I was... away. Keith, I trusted you to lead this team which means not verbally attacking the people who depend on you as much as you depend on them. I expected better from you and you-"

"Well maybe you shouldn't have!"

Shiro flinched at Keith's outburst.

"What? Why?" he whispered.

"Did you ever think," Keith said, voice trembling, "that maybe I didn't want that? You kept pushing me to be the black paladin and I DIDN'T WANT IT. I don't want it. Being the black paladin meant losing you. You! the only family I had left after I had already lost you once. Last time I thought you died I went crazy and got expelled from the Garrison. Did you ever think about how fucked up that was? This time I looked everywhere for you, never wanting to think about the fact that you might actually be **gone for good.** Because how could I get lucky a second time?"

"Keith-"

Keith soldiered on.

"So I lead the team like you wanted even though I had no idea what I was doing and you know... Lance... he came to me about how insecure he felt and I'm still not convinced that I did a good job reassuring him. And I know right now I just made it worse! And maybe I shouldn't be so upset that he doesn't **trust me** and rely on me the way I had to trust and rely on him," he said, wiping tears from his eyes with a bitter smile, "You should've seen him, Shiro. He was amazing. He- he held me together. And I just tore him to pieces and I hate myself for it so you can keep your self-righteous lectures to your fucking self, Takashi Shirogane."

He tried to storm out, but he was stopped when Shiro grabbed him with his prosthetic arm. Keith looked down a it, a pang in his chest as he was once again reminded of what his brother went through the first time Keith thought he was gone forever, lost to the same endless void as their father. He chanced a look at Shiro and wished he hadn't.

He hated seeing him so broken.

_I keep fucking up... I keep hurting people I care about. I told you I was no good at this..._

He tried to pull away.

"Shiro, please..."

"I'm sorry."

Keith froze.

"You- what?"

"I shouldn't have put so much pressure on you. You're my brother. You're the person I trust the most. I didn't think about how much I was putting on your shoulders. I'm sorry."

Keith sighed. "It's... it's okay."

Shiro shook his head.

"It's not. Look at us. We don't fight. Not anymore."

Keith felt Shiro tighten his grip, more grounding than painful.

Keith shrugged.

"In your defense, I did make a bit of a mess of things today."

Shiro laughed pulling Keith to him into a hug.

"You did. But now you gotta fix it."

Keith almost cried again.

"You sound like someone else I know..."

Shiro pulled back, an eyebrow raised.

"Who?"

"Someone I owe an apology to."

Shiro ruffled his hair, "Get to it then."

 In Lance's room, Hunk had already arranged all their pillows and blankets on the floor snuggling his best friend while he cried into Hunk's chest. He wasn't loud about it. Lance never was, always going off to cry alone and trying to keep quiet even when he knew he wouldn't be found. Hunk ran a soothing hand down his back.

_He's shaking..._

"It's okay Lance."

"No, it's not. Keith hates me and now everyone is gonna hate me, too."

Hunk sighed.

"He doesn't hate you, Lance. No one does." _Quite the opposite actually...not that he has much of a chance after that spectacular disaster._ "He's being a jerk but I'm pretty sure he didn't actually mean what he said."

Lance pulled away, and Hunk felt his heart break when his best friend peered up at him, red-rimmed blue eyes shining with tears.

"Then why did he say it?"

Hunk bit his lip, looking at him long and hard before answering,

"Lance, buddy... you know you can trust us, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"So why didn't you? When Keith told us he was Galra..."

"Hunk you know this  is different than-"

"Is it? That was information that he was sure would affect the team and it kind of did. Look how Allura treated him after that. But it worked out. And he grew to trust you enough that out of all of us, you are his right hand. So if I had to take a guess, he was more hurt that you didn't trust him enough to tell him and honestly... I can relate. I'm your best friend and I didn't even know. But I still don't think he had any right to speak to you the way he did or make you doubt your position on the team. So, instead of forgiving him instantly or brushing it off like you don't care and haven't been crying your eyes out, I'm gonna wait here with you until he inevitably comes to apologize- and it better be a damn good apology- and then we're all gonna hug it out, okay?"

Lance nodded, snuggling back into Hunk's chest.

"Okay."

After checking in with Allura to assure her they were fine, Shiro pulled Pidge aside, leaving Keith to find Hunk and Lance.

She started talking before the older paladin could say a word.

"I know we shouldn't have ganged up on Lance but he kept a huge secret from us and he's the one who's all about team bonding and not keeping secrets and I told you all I was a girl and Keith had the whole Galra thing so why wouldn't he tell us? I mean, we're his friends. Almost like family. I mean, Matt and I used to tell each other everything and Lance is actually a lot like him and just-"

"Pidge, slow down."

"Sorry," she said, shoulders drooping.

"Hey, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. But if I know Lance, he won't hold a grudge against you. Keith is another story."

She smiled.

"Yeah. Poor Keith... you really think we'll be okay?"

"Only one way to find out."

At her questioning look, he knelt down.

"Hop on. We're going Lance hunting."

"Are you... offering me a piggyback ride?"

"Yes?"

Half a tick later there was a gremlin on his back.

"Onward, my noble steed! Woah!"

Shiro smirked as he took off.

"Hold on, kiddo."

"Weeeee!"

When they finally got to Lance's room, they found Keith still outside his door pacing, stopping a few times and raising his hand to knock before shaking his head and pacing again before Pidge interrupted him.

"You come here to rock out? Because you certainly don't look as if you've done any apologizing."

Keith jumped.

"Shit, Pidge."

Shiro frowned.

"Watch your fucking language in front of the kid."

"She swears more than either of us!"

The door to Lance's room slid open and Hunk stood in the door way with his arms crossed, giving all of them an unimpressed look.

"If you're done..."

Shiro looked over Hunk's shoulder, spotting Lance sitting with his knees to his chest and wrapped up in a blanket not looking at any of them with the saddest expression.

_I just want to kiss it all away._

Shiro gasped.

_Where did that come from? Have I always felt this way?_

But Lance seemed to register that it wasn't just Pidge and Keith at the door. He glanced Shiro's way, eyes widening in surprise.

"Sh-Shiro?"

"Yeah, Sharpshooter?"

The effect was immediate. Lance smiled at him. It was a small smile but it was something.

Shiro let Pidge down and Hunk let him pass, staring the other two down while Shiro sat cross-legged next to Lance.

"Hey."

"Hey," Lance whispered back.

"Lance?"

"Hmm?"

"You know you're special as a person and as a paladin?"

Lance frowned.

"Even to you?"

"Of course."

_Especially me._

"I have a hard time believing that."

"Lance, you helped Keith rescue me. The blue lion chose you. You took an explosion blast to save Coran. You keep Keith's impulses in check. You saved a mermaid planet. You dive into fountains to help Pidge buy video games. You make shots from impossible distances and with amazing accuracy. You encourage your teammates and celebrate their accomplishments. You helped keep this team together while I was gone and you try to keep the mood light so we aren't overwhelmed by how serious our situation really is. Lance, we wouldn't be here without you."

"Yeah," said Keith from behind Hunk, "what he said."

Lance sighed.

"Hunk, let them in. I'm fine."

Was it Shiro's imagination or did Lance inch closer to him as the others walked in?

Hunk grudgingly stepped aside moving to sit on Lance's other side between him and Keith.

"I didn't think you all noticed those things..."

"How could we not?" said Hunk.

"Yeah. I mean, I always notice you."

Lance flushed.

"Didn't know you felt that way, Mullet."

"I- I well, I mean...uh."

"What Keith is trying to say is that you aren't an afterthought and you are appreciated," said Pidge.

Lance frowned.

"But you're the one who always says I'm not the sharpshooter and that's literally the only thing I know I'm good at without Nieves."

Pidge grimaced. "I don't mean it, Lance. I just feel comfortable enough around you to pick on you. I didn't know you'd take it to heart. I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "It's okay, I guess."

"It's not if it hurts you. That's the last thing we want to do."

"Yeah," said Keith, "but it's what we did. And we're- I'm sorry. I don't always know how to talk to you and sometimes you bring out my impulses as much as you reign them in..."

Lance huffed, giving him a half smile. "What a pair we make."

Keith sighed. "I just... couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you didn't feel comfortable coming to us about this. We're a team."

"I know... I just don't trust Nieves not to get rid of me. And I don't want you guys to forget me..."

"Lance," said Pidge, her voice thick with emotion, "you're like my brother and you know I've been searching the universe for Matt. Trust me when I say I could never forget you."

They all echoed their agreement.

"Pidge is right," said Shiro, pulling Lance close and smiling when he immediately curled into Shiro's side. "You're not someone we'd give up easily."

"But what if I hurt you guys?"

"We would know it's not you," said Keith.

Lance looked down at his hands.

"What if it was me?" he whispered.

Hunk elbowed him softly.

"What do you mean?"

"When I saw Tulot get hurt, my blood-lust matched Nieves'. We've never blacked out before but apparently I was able to tap into his skills as myself and let my anger control me."

"But you were doing it to protect Tulot," Hunk insisted.

"Yeah, this time...You guys don't get it. This isn't about gender or heritage but the fact that I can't trust my control over my own body. My mind is literally fractured and-"

"I get it."

They all looked at Shiro.

"I get it," he repeated. "They took my arm and my memories. Turned me into a weapon. Half of the time I don't know how much of me is real. Sometimes, I almost feel like him. Like the Champion. I've seen him before- Zarkon's witch showed me. And I worry that if it came down to it... I'd lose to him and hurt you all. And after my last capture by them... I don't know what they did to me this time around. Maybe Black knows. Maybe that's why she won't respond to me."

"But Shiro, that doesn't mean we think any less of you," said Lance.

Shiro smiled down at him, giving him a gentle squeeze mindful of his prosthetic.

"Exactly."

"Oh. _Oh._ "

"So now that you've seen the light," Pidge drawled, "cuddle pile?"

Hunk nodded sagely.

"Cuddle pile."

Lance squealed as the other three paladins threw themselves over him and Shiro, who chuckled at their antics.

Soon, Shiro had Lance between him and Keith. Hunk had an arm wrapped around both Keith and Lance with Shiro's arm covering them the other way. Pidge had taken the liberty of draping herself over all of them.

That was how Coran and Allura found them a varga later, smiling at each other and snapping a quick photo before going back to the controls.

Far off in the distance, a ship floated among stars not yet known to the paladins.

Four women worked silently until a monitor began to beep insistently.

One of them, a tall and muscular woman looked back at the captain, his figure straightening when he heard the sound.

"Zethrid?"

"We found them. Your orders, sir?"

Lotor smirked, casually flipping his hair and leaning back against his captain's chair.

"Set a course...for Voltron."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't always read or write broganes but I decided to do it here because I remember the fandom agreeing that Keith's dad looks like Shiro and I like the idea of their being an actual reason for that.  
> Let me know what y'all think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Lotor! Kinda get a glimpse of his motivations here.  
> Give love a Shance. Lot's of Shance in this chapter. Shiro fucking loves the fucking fuck out of Lance.  
> Also, they fuck. So expect smut.  
> Too bad Lotor is coming to steal Lance away shortly after.  
> Oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is heavier Shance than I originally intended for so early in the fic but I have some ideas for this. Honestly Shance is my VLD OTP so I'm not even surprised but don't worry. Lancelot will still be able to develop and be healthy before evolving into beautiful and healthy Shancelot. There will be some Shangst, though so be warned.  
> Yall...read chapter 5 before reading this one. I deleted my authors note and posted it as a chapter.

It wasn't often that Lotor had time to rest. Some times he went close to 50 vargas with no sleep save for when he was recovering from battle. But for now he had a few vargas to get away from his captain's chair and just _be_.

He'd only just made it to his quarters, sighing after the door slid shut behind him. He made his way to the bathroom, taking his armor off as he went and finally feeling as if he could breathe again. He tied his long white hair in a bun and started up a bath, submerging his body in the water when it reached the perfect temperature and moaning as his muscles relaxed. They were particularly sore since he'd spent the last two vargas training with his generals.

His fingers skimmed his still bruised ribs. He grimaced.

"Zethrid packs a punch..."

He grabbed one of the soaps next to the bath. It had a healing agent but it carried a pleasant sent. He began the process of cleaning himself, taking his time and being gentle with himself while his mind wandered.

_In a few vargas, I'll have a paladin of Voltron on my ship... I only hope this won't be a mistake. If the one they call Lance can't help me..._

_No one can..._

He leaned back against the end of the end of the tub, his eyebrows pinched together betraying his usual confidence and revealing the conflict underneath.

Ezor had allowed him to see their battle against the paladins through her memories, a method similar to the Altean memory extraction, and he'd noticed that there had been a change from footage he had seen before his father's defeat.

_They switched lions. The blue paladin... is now the red paladin. His quintessence, if he is what I think he is, will be the most compatible with my last project... the project that will depose my parents for good. If I want to bring my vision for the Galra empire to fruition... this can't fail..._

He smiled ruefully and pulled up a hologram of the battle at Throk's base, hooded eyes falling on the slender paladin aiming his rifle and shooting with extraordinary precision before turning to the yellow paladin with a blinding smile.

"You're my only hope... Lance."

When Lance awoke, Pidge, Hunk and Keith were gone. He made to sit up but found himself held in place by something heavy. He looked down at his waist and found a metal arm that was securely holding him so that his back was snug against the warmth of what he now knew was Shiro's chest.

Lance blushed, holding his breath.

"Oh my god," he whispered.

Shiro was still asleep but he seemed to register that he wasn't alone because he hummed, burying his nose into Lance's hair and pulling Lance closer which Lance had thought was impossible given how they'd already been glued together.

He tried to turn his head as best he could so he could see the older paladin's face.

"Shiro?"

"Mmm."

"Hey, sleepy head, wake up," he murmured gently.

Shiro frowned, nuzzling Lance again and-

_"Did he just...whine?"_

_Adorable..._

_"Shut up. This is literally the most precious thing."_

He felt Shiro huff, his breath rushing over Lance's neck in a way that had him pressing his ass against Shiro's crotch without meaning to.

Lance gasped, mortified.

_"Oh no... he's gonna wake up and it's gonna be weird."_

Except that Shiro's hips rolled forward in interest and Lance had to suppress a squeal at the growing hardness pressed against his backside.

_Wow. Who knew he was such a horny sleeper?_

_"Oh my god, Nieves. Shut your quiznack. If he wakes up to find out he's been dry humping me, he's going to be so embarrassed!"_

_Well, I mean, he shouldn't be considering you've been pining after him for like ever and-_

_"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Let's not discuss my stupid crush on him right now."_

_Crush? Don't you think you're understating things a bit?_

_"Whatever it is... 100% not helping."_

_I don't know, man... sure looks like he wants your help with his... situation to me._

He would've denied Nieves' claim further except that a strong muscular leg wrapped around him and he could feel...well, everything.

_"Don't wake up. Don't wake up. Please stay asleep while I get us out of this..."_

Lance bit his lip, squirming to see if Shiro would loosen his grip so he could get loose but it only accomplished exactly what Lance hoped it wouldn't.

"Hmm? Lance?"

Shiro woke up.

Lance cleared his throat, a nervous chuckle tumbling from his lips.

"H-hey, Sleeping Beauty?"

Silence.

He could feel Shiro come to full awareness because within seconds the body behind him had stiffened and the weight of Shiro's limbs was gone and so was the erection that had tried to fuck him through their clothes.

Lance turned quickly, catching sight of Shiro who sat several feet away with his knees to his chest and an expression of horror on his face.

"Oh God... Lance, I'm so sorry! I didn't think I'd-"

Lance held a hand up.

"Shiro, I'm not mad."

Shiro stared at him, doubt clear on his face.

"Y-You're not?"

Lance shook his head with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"No. It... happens," he shrugged, muttering, "Besides, you were probably dreaming about someone amazing and you woke up to me so..."

Shiro frowned, not liking his self-deprecating tone.

"But **you're** amazing."

Lance rolled his eyes.

"I mean sure."

"I mean it!" Shiro insisted.

"Oh come on, Shiro. I'm nobody's wet dream. Especially not yours."

"How do you know?"

"I mean I- wait, what?"

Shiro blushed but he didn't look away.

"You heard me."

"What are you saying? That you- you would want... me?" Lance asked pointing at himself.

Shiro huffed.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, yeah!"

Shiro frowned, unfolding himself and crawling toward Lance who was frozen in place. Shiro took his face into his hands and Lance felt incredibly warm as he was forced to look the older man in the eyes.

"Lance..."

Lance gulped and Shiro dropped his stare to Lance's throat when he noticed, licking his lips before bringing his eyes back to Lance's.

"Wanting you is literally the hardest thing for me not to do right now."

"Shiro..."

"I noticed it last night... I saw you and I wanted to kiss all of your troubles away. And it got me thinking... about whether or not this feeling was as sudden as I thought. But then I remembered the times I stared at you... maybe a little too long. I remember not having any personal reason to be annoyed that you flirted with other people except that for some reason I just... was? Even hours after. I remember trying so, so hard not to laugh at your jokes that I thought were funny no matter how bad they were. I remember the fear of almost watching you die our first week as paladins and deep self-hatred for not being able to protect you... avoiding missions with you because of it... I know I seem to show a lot of favoritism toward Keith- he's my brother after all... but it was easier than forcing myself not to worry about you so much. And then, I realized how much damage I did when I heard what you said to the yupper-"

Lance pulled his face away, burying it in his hands, absolutely mortified.

"You did? Oh my god..."

 He felt a warmth on his shoulder... Shiro's human hand.

"Lance, you are not a 'seventh wheel'. You're our heart. I realized that in hiding from my feelings I'd failed you as a leader and a friend by even giving you a chance to think that way. And, after Betatraz... you proved I actually didn't need to worry as much as I thought. You made the shot, Lance! You made that impossible, beautiful shot and you know what?"

Lance peeked at him from behind his fingers.

"Hmm?"

Shiro smirked.

"It was the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Lance's hands fell away from his face.

"S-Seriously?"

Shiro's human hand cupped his face, intense grey eyes gazing into Lance's blue ones and Lance... what did one call it when they could almost feel their skin melting in the best way? He only knew that it made him feel weak and powerful all at once because this was Shiro, his hero and leader, saying that he wanted Lance. What was he to do with that information?

Shiro's breath caught when he saw Lance's eyes flicker down to his mouth and back up, silently begging.

Shiro smiled softly at him, moving in closer until they were breathing into each other without their lips touching.

Lance wasn't sure who closed the distance between them but the moment Shiro's lips pressed against his he felt his arms snake up around the black paladin's neck of their own accord, pulling him closer.

_"Closer. Closer... please."_

In a second he was pulled up and on Shiro's lap, and a tongue plunged into his mouth exploring every inch. He felt the loss when Shiro's mouth pulled away only to gasp when he felt hot lips on his neck.

"Shiro- ah- want- want you..."

"Mmm, bed?"

Lance nodded, breathless.

"Bed."

He was picked up effortlessly and Shiro laid him down on his bed gently, crawling over him and lowering his body to grind down into him.

"Ah! Shiro..."

"Mmm?"

"Too-many- clothes," he panted in between kisses.

And then two warm hands, a flesh one and a metal one buzzing with nameless energy, snaked under his shirt earning a gasp from Lance, his skin warming under Shiro's touch and then his shirt was being pulled over his head.

Shiro sat up, pulling off his own shirt and staring down at Lance with an expression so soft Lance thought he might die. It was almost- almost- enough to distract him from the fact that he was finally seeing Shiro shirtless.

_"You can have anything you want as long as you keep looking at me like that..."_

He hadn't realized he said it out loud until Shiro traced Lance's collarbone with his fingers, leaning down to kiss him again.

"Always."

And then he was moving down, kissing every inch of that smooth brown skin he could reach, his hands roaming until they reached Lance's jeans. Shiro smiled up at Lance, all teeth, and as precious as it was Lance thought it was as sexy as everything else about Shiro.

He held his breath when strong fingers unbuttoned and zipped down his jeans, large hands pulling his underwear and pants off at once and tossing them to the side.

"Beautiful," Shiro whispered.

"Shiro," Lance whined, "hurry up... please."

"So impatient," Shiro teased, chuckling. But he obliged, taking off his own pants and Lance almost didn't dare to look down but he did.

Shiro was beautiful everywhere. He was covered in scars, scars that looked like they'd hurt, scars that looked like however he got them kept him up at night. And he was goddamned beautiful. Pale skin stretched over large and flexing muscles, thick and powerful thighs and the long and thick cock that was hard just for Lance.

"Wow," he breathed.

Shiro blushed, shy all of a sudden for reasons Lance probably wouldn't understand.

"Let me touch you, Shiro."

Shiro grabbed his hands, hauling him up into a kiss.

"Touch me," he whispered, guiding Lance's hand down to his hard length and groaning when soft brown fingers wrapped around him. "Ah... Lance..."

"Good?"

"Yes," he hissed, jolting when Lance knelt down, breath ghosting over Shiro's dick. With little warning, Lance swallowed him down earning a sharp cry from Shiro whose head fell back in pleasure, his fingers threading into Lance's hair to guide his head as it bobbed up and down his cock. "L-Laaance- I- I'm not going to last if you keep- ah- going."

Lance hummed around him, pulling off with a wet pop.

Shiro pulled him up for another desperate kiss, pulling away abruptly and flipping Lance onto his stomach with a growl.

_Oh, manhandling. That's sexy. You got yourself a good one Lancey Lance._

_"I will go soft if you keep talking to me while Shiro and I- OH!"_

_Is he..._

Shiro had pulled Lance's ass up, and his teasing tongue was currently circling Lance's rim.

_"I'm going to fucking die."_

_Yeah, me too. Fuck._

_"You can... feel this?"_

_Well, I can't not.... holy shi- it's inside- ooooh._

"Ah-haaa- ah... Shiro!"

Lance clutched desperately at his sheets, trembling while Shiro's tongue fucked into him. He felt a finger slipping into him and Shiro didn't stop eating him out.

Before long another finger slipped in and he was being stretched so Shiro's tongue could plunge deeper into his hole. Shiro moaned at Lance's high pitched scream, his ass pushing back to fuck himself on Shiro's tongue and fingers.

"Shiro... fuck me now!"

Shiro pulled back.

"You sure you're rea-"

"NOW."

Shiro laughed, dropping a kiss to Lance's back, "Alright, already. Who am I to deny you anything anyway?"

Lance groaned, pressing his face into the bed. "Oh my god, you sap, just get your dick in me before I die of- AH!"

Shiro smirked, sinking into Lance. "That what you wanted?"

"Yes," he whimpered, pushing back against Shiro.

Shiro groaned, thrusting slowly. He didn't want to hurt Lance. Unless Lance wanted him to but they could save that for another occasion.

He swooped down to trail kisses down Lance's spine. "You feel so good, Lance."

"Mmm... you, too, amor."

Shiro's eyes widened at the endearment. He pulled out, earning a whine from Lance, who pouted at Shiro when he was turned onto his back.

"Why'd you stop, Shiro?"

He leaned down, brushing his nose against Lance's

"I want to see your face."

Lance smiled, brighter than the sun even in the darkness of the room.

"Is that all, Shiro?"

"Takashi."

"Hmm?"

"My first name. Takashi. When we're alone like this, I want you to use it."

"Takashi..." Lance mused, testing it out and finding that he liked the way it rolled off his tongue. He wrapped his arms around Shiro's neck, pulling him into a soft kiss, pulling away to whisper in his ear.

"Make love to me, Takashi."

When Shiro entered him again, he released a blissful sigh, wrapping his legs around Shiro's waist to keep him inside of Lance. Shiro moaned, kissing Lance like his life depended on it, his hips thrusting steadily in slow yet hard thrusts as if Lance would be able to feel him forever after one night of lovemaking.

Maybe he would.

Lance seemed to disagree with Shiro's restraint.

"Takashi... I won't break."

"I- I know..."

"Then let go."

"But what if I hurt you?"

Lance smiled, smoothing a thumb over Shiro's furrowed brows.

"You won't. I trust you. So let go."

"You're sure?"

Blue eyes stared at him with a new certainty that Shiro almost couldn't handle. He was humbled by Lance's profound trust in him.

"Love me, Takashi. Love me like you mean it."

The kiss Shiro gave him at that was the best so far, full of reverence.

And then he was moving. Hard and fast and so very deep.

Lance could barely form a coherent thought as Shiro slammed into him with speed he didn't know he possessed, only moaning endlessly and holding on for dear life as Shiro groaned Lance's name like a mantra.

"T-Kashi...Ah- close!"

"Me, too, baby."

Shiro reached down, palming Lance's neglected erection, purring into Lance's ear, "Come for me, Lance."

"Ka-Ah-Kashi!"

Lance felt his orgasm slam through him, briefly blacking out as Shiro fucked him through it, growling Lance's name when he finally climaxed, spilling everything he had into Lance until he was spent and Lance shook from overstimulation and exertion, his legs dropping to Shiro's sides. Shiro somehow had enough energy to keep mouthing at Lance's neck and collarbones long after he'd pulled out, cum slipping out of Lance's now gaping hole.

Lance whined when he felt a particularly hard suck on his collarbone.

"You marking me up, Kashi?"

"Mine," Shiro growled against his skin.

Lance ran a hand through Shiro's white tuft of hair, still damp with sweat.

"Hmm. Yours. Can I be yours in the shower so I can be yours while we cuddle? Unless you want us to stay gross..."

Shiro shook his head, smiling into Lance's chest.

"Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?"

Lance scoffed, sitting up and moving to get out of bed.

"Oh come on... you didn't fuck me that haaa-shit!"

He fell as soon as his feet touched the floor but was saved from face-planting on the floor by Shiro's quick thinking, his arm wrapped around Lance's waist.

"Yep, you're gonna have to carry me."

In seconds he found himself in Shiro's arms in a bridal style carry. Shiro, bless him, somehow managed to shower them both. It was awkward and almost disastrous but they laughed through it and were thankfully back in Lance's bed within an hour. They were still naked under their shared blanket, both reveling in the warmth of the other's skin, Lance half on Shiro's chest with Shiro's arm holding Lance there.

Lance let the steady thrum of Shiro's heartbeat soothe him, feeling Shiro's lips brush his forehead. He grinned, kissing the older man's chest where his heart was. Soon he felt his eyes drooping and he heard Shiro yawn.

"Rest, Lance. We'll get up for dinner since we missed breakfast."

Lance nodded, looking up at Shiro with a sleepy smile.

"Okay, Kashi."

Shiro flushed at the nickname, not having had the chance to feel shy about it before. Lance snuggled closer and Shiro kept his arm protectively around him, letting Lance's warmth relax him until his eyes began to droop.

They fell asleep that way and for once, Shiro didn't have any nightmares.

The rest of the crew were gathered on the bridge, making sure everything was running smoothly in case of an attack.

"Allura?"

Allura turned to the green paladin, whose voice was uncharacteristically grave.

"Yes, Pidge?"

"We have a problem..."

"What is it?" asked Keith from the other side of the room.

Pidge sighed, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"It's Lotor. I've detected him on our scanners."

Allura frowned.

"You mean he's coming our way?"

Pidge grimaced. Lotor's ships were a lot faster than typical Galra ships.

"Actually... he's already here."

Sure enough, the ship came out of warp and loomed before the Castle of Lions.

"Princess," said Coran, "We're being hailed."

Allura turned toward the screen, allowing the transmission to come through. Before them was the image of a smirking violet skinned man with white hair and pointed ears. In another life, Allura would have found him attractive.

"Princess Allura," he greeted cordially enough.

"Lotor."

He seemed altogether unbothered by the lack of honorifics. In fact, his expression was one of amusement.

She wanted to punch the smirk off his face.

"Not that I don't appreciate lack of violence, but is there a reason you are hailing us instead of attempting to shoot down my ship?"

Lotor arched a ridiculously perfect brow at her.

"Not that I shy away from... direct action, however I find that aggression does not always suit my purposes. In fact, I'd prefer it if it didn't come to that," he said in a voice that was infuriatingly smooth.

He was too calm for Allura's liking. She didn't know how to react to it.

"What purposes?"

"That's for me to know. In any case, you have something I want."

She scowled.

"There is nothing you could want that I would give to **you**."

He cocked his head.

"You could. But you likely won't. I just thought I'd ask nicely first."

Keith frowned.

"First?"

"Yes," he said, with an almost pleasant smile, " before taking it anyway."

That's when the ship's alarms started blaring and Coran pulled up the security footage.

"We have intruders!"

Hunk recognized them instantly.

"It's Lotor's lady crew!"

Keith grabbed his bayard, already heading their way.

"One of you warn Lance and Shiro!" he shouted over his shoulder.

Shiro and Lance jolted awake, not even having been asleep for three hours when the alarm sounded.

They shared a look.

"Time to suit up," Shiro said.

Lance nodded, willing his legs to work again and somehow managing to make it to his armor and start suiting up. Shiro caught his elbow as he was reaching for his helmet.

"You sure you'll be okay?"

Lance gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile, even as an odd feeling of curled in his gut. Something was going to happen. But he didn't know what yet and he didn't want to worry Shiro.

"Yeah, don't worry."

Shiro huffed.

"You know that's impossible."

Lance finished putting on his helmet, grabbing his bayard and leaning up to give Shiro a chaste kiss.

"Let's go."

They met Pidge on the way who filled them in on the situation.

Lance cursed.

"Those ladies are nothing to fuck with."

They arrived to find Keith engaged with the blue one Lance had nicknamed "Space Azula". Hunk  and Allura were back to back fighting off the other three and Pidge quickly launched herself at the creepy looking one while Shiro went for the big one. Lance  went for "Space Ty Lee" only to find that she was more entertained by their fight then he was. He was dodging her easily enough.

She giggled.

"It's like we're dancing together!"

Seriously? Was she for real?

There was a split second- bless his amazing eyesight- where he saw "Space Azula" aim and shoot at Pidge while Big and Bad distracted Allura and Shiro. "Koh the Face Stealer" had turned her attention to Hunk and "Space Ty Lee" was about to be in for a very Keith-shaped surprise so Lance side-stepped her and launched himself in front of Pidge.

The shot was non-fatal but it did throw him back toward where they had presumably entered the ship and away from the team. He heard Pidge and Shiro shout his name and when he looked up, "Space Azula" was kneeling next to him.

"Are you hurt?"

He squinted at her.

"Wha?..."

She had already turned back to her teammates.

"We have what we came for! Retreat!"

And then he was hauled up and over the shoulder of the big one, "Space Azula" providing cover fire as they ran farther away from his team and into the ship they came in on.

The last thing he remembered was reaching out for Shiro who was running toward them as fast as he could.

But not fast enough, slamming his fists on the door when it shut too soon.

"LANCE!"

The ship took off, blasting Shiro back, the other paladins rushing to his side and the Castle of Lions growing smaller in the distance.

"Shiro..." he whispered, feeling ready to pass out.

_"Shiro."_

The faceless one placed her hand at the base of his head, tingling energy buzzing where her fingers touch him.

And then he succumbed to the darkness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never posted smut before so if it was cringey I apologize. I'll try to do better in the future lol.  
> Sorry for hurting them like this lol.  
> Not.  
> Lowkey I live for tha angst.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is on Lotor's ship surrounded by people who have tried to kill him. Meanwhile the team gets to work trying to find him.  
> Lotor thinks Lance is pretty. The generals don't disagree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! I am SO sorry about how late I'm updating. I was going through some stuff and college has me STRESSED. But here is the new chapter! There might be some typos because I did rush a bit to put this out but I will correct them if I find them! I always re-read a million times after posting.

"He should be waking up soon. We healed any injuries he sustained during the scuffle."

Lotor nodded. "Thank you, Acxa. You've done well."

She smiled, withholding a sigh as she took it for the dismissal that it was. She pressed her fist to her chest, bowing, and striding out. For some reason, she couldn't help but pause and look back.

Lotor had moved from the foot of the bed, tracing his fingers along the edge as he neared the sleeping paladin who frowned in his sleep as if feeling his presence. The prince's fingers twitched as if he wanted to reach out and smooth the furrow in his brows.

She hummed inaudibly, storing the moment away for later and heading toward her and Ezor's room.

Lotor's breath caught when he saw Lance's face up close, examining the curve of his jaw, the long lashes that brushed against sharp cheeks, and the full and inviting lips...

_Stunning..._

Lotor shook the thought from his mind as quickly as it came. Lance was here for business. He could not fraternize with someone who considered him a threat. He breathed heavily through his nose, resisting the urge to caress the smooth brown skin of the paladin's face as he mumbled and stirred in fitful sleep.

He heard heavy footsteps approaching, already recognizing who they belonged to.

He glanced up to find Zethrid leaning against the wall, her arms crossed as she smirked at her boss.

He arched a brow. "What?"

Could he help it if he sounded a tad testy?

"Pretty little thing, isn't he?"

His eyes narrowed.

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, right. Anyway, Acxa caught me on the way here and told me to be on standby when flower boy wakes up."

"Will you stop calling him stupid names- you know what, never mind just-"

He was cut off when Lance gasped, blue eyes flying open, hyperventilating when he didn't recognize where he was.

But he recognized Zethrid.

"What- where- where is my team? What did you do to them? Tell me where I am!"

Zethrid shot Lotor a pointed look as if to say "the ball is in your court".

Lotor cleared his throat, drawing Lance's attention.

Lance was taken aback for a moment.

_"Who is this Bradley with the good hair and why is he so comfortable around the literal fucking Boulder?"_

_He must be important. Look at her. She seems to be waiting for him to take the lead._

_"Wait... you don't think..."_

_I mean.._

Lotor noted the internal conflict in Lance's eyes and spoke as calmly as he could, trying to keep the innate threatening edge out of his voice that Ezor always went on about.

"I am Prince Lotor, paladin, and you are on my ship."

He waited for Lance to respond, but the other man was frozen- in fact he seemed to stopped breathing. In the instant he realized this, Lance's eyes rolled back and he fainted, his head landing against the bed with soft thud.

Lotor gaped at the newly unconcious man, sharing a brief look with Zethrid.

"That... has never happened to me before. I've had people soil themselves and beg for mercy upon being in my presence but..."

Zethrid shrugged, examining her claws, unbothered.

"Maybe he thinks you're pretty too."

"Zethrid!"

He stormed out, leaving her howling in laughter but not before barking out an order to accommodate Lance into a guest space.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back on the Castle of Lions, there was chaos.

"Coran- Keith- Hunk, let me go!"

Shiro struggled in their grasp.

"Not until you get to a healing pod. You're hurt!" Keith insisted.

He gritted his teeth, still trying to wrestle them off of him.

"They are getting farther away- argh!- every second and- argh!- they have Lance! We have to go now!"

Allura watched them, shaking her head.

"We're all worried about him, Shiro, but you're hurt and if you aren't at your best when we do try to rescue him, then we might be down another paladin... again."

Shiro's shoulders sagged, the fight almost completely leaving him but the crushing anxiety ever-present.

"We'll go look for him right after?" he asked, voice wavering.

Allura was taken aback by the open vulnerability in his eyes, her eyes softening.

"I promise," she said.

He nodded. "Okay, then. Healing pod."

Coran, Keith and Hunk sighed in relief.

When Shiro finally stepped into the healing pod, he got one last reassuring look from his brother.

"We'll find him," Keith said.

Shiro's world went black.

Keith turned to the rest of the team, who looked as broken as he felt.

_How many times are we going to lose people we care about to this war..._

But Keith was still the current black paladin and he had to keep it together.

"Pidge, start working on tracking Lotor's ship. Stay near Allura in case we need to go at a moment's notice."

Pidge left without a word, her eyes wet but the tears never falling. Keith wasn't the best at motivational speeches and comforting other people, but he was good at distractions. So he gave her one. Allura watched her leave, turning back to Keith with a meaningful look that he knew to mean she would make sure Pidge was ok. He watched her leave, waiting until she turned the corner before turning to Hunk and Coran.

"We need the lions in top shape. Coran, if you can inspect them that would be great. Hunk, partner up with Coran in case any repairs need to get done. The two of you make sure to keep communication open between you and the bridge for if Allura and Pidge need you."

Hunk nodded, not really looking at Keith.

Keith studied the yellow paladin, noting his solemn expression. It was heart-wrenching. Lance was their heart, their glue. But, Hunk? Hunk was their spirit, their Sunshine. Keith hated seeing him like this.

He didn't realize he'd moved until he was already in front of Hunk.

"Hunk."

The other boy looked up, a lost look in his eyes.

Keith reached up, cradling the taller boy's face in his hands, earning a shocked look from Hunk.

 "We'll find him."

Hunk gulped at the seriousness in his tone, his cheeks darkening under the warmth of Keith's hands.

"Okay," he breathed.

Kieth nodded, stepping back and striding out and heading toward the training deck, not noticing the intense brown gaze burning into his back.

The training deck doors hissed shut behind the restless black paladin.

"Begin training sequence level 19!" he barked, getting into position with his Galra blade as five drones dropped from the ceiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 When Lance came to again, he was moving and there were large arms secured around him, carrying him bridal style. He snuggled his face into the broad chest, noting that it was softer than he expected.

"Hmm, Shiro? Did you find me?"

"Guess again, flower."

Lance gasped struggling in Zethrid's hold.

"H-hey! Let go!"

She held him tighter, not dropping him.

"Hey, calm down! I'm not gonna hurt you."

He huffed. "Yeah, suuure. And don't call me flower!"

She chuckled at the pout on his face.

"Why not? You're pretty and delicate as one. Heck, we put you through medical treatment and decontamination and you still smell like one."

Lance flushed, not knowing how to respond.

"Umm..."

He heard a light giggle down the hall and turned toward the sound.

"Don't frighten him, Zethrid."

Lance turned his eyes toward Ezor, who sauntered over, Acxa following close behind.

Zethrid sighed, feeling Lance tense in her arms when Ezor got close enough, her hands on her hips as she peered down at the wary paladin.

"He's so cute!" she gushed, leaning back to whisper in Acxa's ear, "I'm so glad we don't have to kick the crap out of him anymore."

"Hey," Lance shouted, "I heard that. And don't talk about me like I'm not here. And what do you mean you don't have to kick the crap out of me- where are you taking me?"

Acxa put her hand on Ezor's shoulder, pulling her back with a pointed look although Ezor didn't look at all apologetic.

She stayed a couple of feet away, careful not to crowd Lance, staring at him with an unreadable expression.

"We will not hurt you, paladin. You are here as a guest. I know it must be difficult to find yourself in a place you don't know with people you know as enemies. All will be explained in a few vargas when you've settled into your guest quarters."

He gaped at her, fairly certain he was in some kind of twilight zone because... what the fuck?

"You- you mean I'm not here as a prisoner of war? No torture?"

She frowned, her voice calm as ever, "Why would we have healed you only to torture you?"

"Yeah," grunted Zethrid, "Lotor's orders. Not that we're particularly mad about it."

"Lotor?" Lance whispered, remembering the ethereal man he'd met in the medical bay. "He... doesn't want to hurt me."

Acxa shook her head. "No. Not at all. All of your questions will be answered in due time. Now, will you allow Zethrid to escort you to your room? I'm sure you want to stretch your legs."

Lance winced as the large-eared woman's gripped tightened.

"Nah, he's good."

Acxa arched a brow at her teammate. "I asked **him** ,"

"So?"

"So, he can walk if he wants."

"Well, he's safer if I carry him."

Acxa crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes.

"He is a paladin of Voltron. I'm fairly certain he can handle walking."

Ezor giggled behind her hand, shaking her head at her wife. "Acxa, darling, I think she just rather enjoys carrying him. Perhaps she's already grown fond?"

Zethrid growled, holding Lance slightly away from them and that's when Lance caught sight of Narti and Kova.

The blind woman was leaning casually against the wall, petting the cat in her arms. When she noticed his stare, she approached.

Lance tried to keep his breathing even while he followed her movements until she was right next to them. She reached over, patted him on the head twice, and kept walking, the cat moving up to her shoulder to stare back at him as she disappeared around the corner, leaving behind a flabbergasted Lance.

"Don't mind, Narti," said Ezor, waving a hand in the direction the other woman had gone, "She's as fierce as any of us but she's a softy when it comes to cute things."

"Cute wha- ME?"

She only kept giggling, having to be dragged away by Acxa.

Once more, Zethrid and Lance were alone in the hall and she started walking again.

"So did you?"

Lance startled. "Sorry, what?"

"Did you want to walk like Acxa said? Or would you rather I carry you the rest of the way," she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft.

He thought about it for a moment, biting his lip.

"I- I don't know," he replied honestly.

She huffed a laugh, patting his waist with her fingers. "Well I guess I'll just carry you while you think about it."

Lance didn't think about it.

In fact, she hadn't set him down even to press her hand to a keypad and open the door to his... room.

It was a good size, decorated tastefully while remaining practical- functional. He was set down on a large and soft bed, a tray of food and water already waiting on a cart in the middle of the room. Zethrid rolled it over to the edge of the bed.

"Eat," she said, pointing at the food, " and drink all of the water. There is a bathroom behind that door over there," she said, inclining her head toward the door across the room, " and there's a wardrobe space as well with garments inside. I'll be back to collect you in two vargas."

Lance nodded numbly, wondering just what the hell Lotor wanted from him. Nieves could handle torture. But this niceness made both he and Lance extraordinarily uneasy. He didn't know what to expect and that somehow made him more anxious.

He poked at the food, glaring at it and sniffing it suspiciously but his mouth only watered at the smell.  He picked up a piece of some kind of meat, taking a small bite of it and moaning at the taste.

"Quiznak, that's good!"

He didn't eat all of it, his nerves still curbing his appetite, but he at least ate enough to be somewhat satisfied. He drank water like he was told to. No point in neglecting to stay hydrated.

He sighed, getting up and deciding to freshen up in the bathroom, eyes widening when he stepped inside.

"Woah," he breathed, running his hand over the edge of a large and lavish tub. "This is nice."

There was a counter with a pretty sink and mirror, a shower large enough for ten people on the other side and a huge walk-in closet at the end. The toilet was behind a door, he found out as he examined everything. The closet came complete with clothes and a vanity and he picked out a tight black undersuit and a loose-fitting blue top to go over it. He found his paladin armor in a case. It had been cleaned and polished. He didn't see his bayard, he noticed with a curse, pulling out his boots.

He turned on the shower, not yet feeling comfortable enough to relax in a full on bath.

He let the warm water wash over him, relaxing his muscles, though his jaw remained clenched as he breathed through his teeth.

"This is so weird... I just want to be back in my bed with Shiro wrapped around me."

_Don't worry, Lancey Lance. He seems to really care. They all do. I'm sure they'll tear the universe apart looking for you._

_"Are you... comforting me?"_

_Huh... I guess I am! How about that. In the meantime, I'm...almost... sorry about this._

_"Sorry about what?"_

Lance cried out in pain, bracing himself against the shower wall and sinking to his knees. "Nieves," he gasped, his fists clenching, "what are you doing?"

Lance couldn't fight him. He was too exhausted, too stressed. He felt himself pushed back into his psyche, taking Nieves' place.

Nieves panted, standing on wobbling legs and turning off the shower. He steadied himself against the counter, looking into the mirror, blue eyes clouded with a darkness that was absent when Lance was in control.

"This is for our own good, Lance. Let me take care of this."

Lance had no choice but to trust him.

_"Okay. I- I'll trust you."_

Nieves smiled and Lance had to remember who Nieves was lest he believe it to be genuine.

_"Let's dance."_

_Now you're getting it, Lancey Lance..._

_Now you're getting it._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do y'all think?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor wish to speak with Lance.  
> He gets Nieves instead.  
> He isn't sure he minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all.... I'm so sorry I took so long to post and that this chapter is so short. Life was happening HARD.

Nieves heard the door to the bedroom open, Zethrid's voice carrying into the bathroom.

"Hey little Flower. Time to go."

He stepped out slowly, measuring her up and he could see the tension working it's way into her stance.

He knew she could see a difference but he also knew she couldn't place it.

"After you," she said, gesturing toward the door and stepping behind him.

He smirked.

Smart girl. Too bad it wouldn't do her a lick of good if it really came down to it.

But he'd play along.

He stepped forward and out into the hall, following her directions and memorizing every hall and doorway until they made it to a large dining area. 

There was a long table and at the head, Lotor was already seated, waiting.

Nieves met his gaze, not breaking eyecontact until he was standing in front of the prince.

He held back a laugh when Lotor was the first to look away. 

"Paladin, please take a seat."

Nieves dropped gracefully into the chair next to him, getting comfortable quicker than Lotor anticipated and looking every bit the part of the dark prince himself.

"Am I finally going to learn why I'm here?"

Lotor smiled, leaning back into his chair.

"That would be appropriate wouldn't it?"

Nieves shrugged.

"It is if you want something. Especially if you want something from me. So, what do you want?"

Lotor bit his lip, letting his eyes roam Nieves' face before responding. There was something different but the prince couldn't place it.

"Your help."

Nieves arched a brow, unflattered by the obviously vulnerable admittance.

"With?"

"Bringing down my parents," Lotor replied with little hesitation, as if it were answer enough. He was surprised when it wasn't.

"And what makes you any better than them?"

Lotor sighed.

"I don't want to enslave anyone. I don't want to rule the universe. I don't want war." 

He froze when he heard the sound of low chuckling.

"What's funny?"

Nieves shook his head.

"What do you want? The "Not as big of a jerk as you could've been award"?"

Lotor's eyes narrowed.

"You mock me..."

He would've been more offended if he weren't so confused. He wasn't expecting this from his...guest.

Nieves leaned forward, speaking to him intimately.

"Look, your...highness is it? I'm a fairly busy man these days, fate of the universe on my hands and all that. And you haven't exactly been helpful. And you say things that mean nothing to me. Okay so you DON'T want to be a dictator, and enslaver, and invader. You want to kill those who do. Fine. But what about after? Decolonizing, liberating, making amends with victims, the pesky things like power vacuums that open up when one deposed tyrant leaves a void open for others like them?"

Lotor considered him for a moment, took in the sharpness of his eyes, the challenge.

"You sound like you have experience with these things. Is that why you make such a good paladin?"

"No."

"No?"

"That's what I said. I wasn't always a paladin. I wasn't always... a hero."

"And now?"

Nieves smiled, wide and sharp and pretty enough that Lotor still felt his breath cut short. One flicker of those cool blue eyes told Lotor that the other noticed.

"I guess you'll have to see," he purred, leaning back and propping his legs up on the table, "Now, it's been a few minutes and I still don't know why I'm here. You should know before anything that I don't work for free and I'm not cheap so now would be a good time to get to the point... your highness."

Lotor smiled back, warming up to this game of theirs. One he didn't mind losing.

"I believe you're a special individual..."

_"Aw I didn't know he felt that way..."_

_Looks like you have an admirer, Lancey Lance._

_"Too bad my heart is taken."_

_"You sure Shiro wouldn't mind sharing? I kind of like this one."_

_Snow... don't you dare._

_"Alright! Fine. Killjoy..."_

"You switched from the blue lion to the red lion..."

"What of it? The red paladin is now the black paladin. Why me and not him?"

"The blue and red lion exist on two polarities They represent opposite elements while still being on Voltron's right side. The former blue paladin was known for his adaptability and the former red paladin for his quick thinking. Another important thing to note is that while the red lion requires a pilot who relies on instinct, the blue paladin has a rather unique quality..."

_"Right. I interrupted Allura and never learned what made me fit to pilot blue in the first place."_

"The blue paladin has a mystic quality that is unmatched by the others. Not many know this but Blaytz was a powerful mage in his day. Injured and dying, he used the last of his power to help Alfor scatter the lions across the universe. Only someone with a quintessence similar to his could've awakened the blue lion."

_"That explains why Allura can pilot blue so well..."_

"Blaytz was also the one to help Alfor close the rift that..."

"Destroyed Daibazaal?" Nieves supplied.

Lotor frowned.

"You know?"

"I don't know everything. But I know the Galran home world was destroyed by your mother's ego and your father's blindness."

"Right... well, being as you were the blue paladin, and the current red paladin... I am lead to believe that you not only have the quintessence to reopen the rift, but the power to harness it, the instinct to learn it's secrets. You're the one person I can think of who could without being corrupted as my mother was."

"Wait, wouldn't Allura be a better choice?"

Lotor shook his head.

"She would likely never have granted me an audience to ask. Not only that but she did not awaken the blue lion and she has not proven that she could pilot another lion aside from the blue one- yes, I'm well aware she's it's current paladin. The princess is powerful and her skills can only develop and grow, but her quintessence is incompatible with what I need. I need someone fearless. And she is valiant but unfortunately seems to carry some of the more cautious traits of her father. The side effect of being in a leadership position."

Nieves was silent, taking in the information.

Lance was a mess.

_"So Loki here really thinks I'm some kind of fucking... wizard... Like a legit brujo?"_

_Guess so..._

_"Cool. Also... IS HE FUCKING CRAZY?"_

_I dunno Lancey poo, he seems seriously sane to me..._

_"Well shit."_

_You can say that again._

_"What the fuck are we gonna do?"_

_WE aren't doing anything yet. You're gonna sit tight while I work._

_"Ugh... fine."_

_Good boy._

"So...," Nieves asked slowly, "you think I'm a wizard?"

Lotor tilted his head, casually resting his chin in his hand.

"Essentially."

"And I'm supposed to unlock this power how, exactly?"

Lotor grinned, standing from his seat and holding a hand out to him.

"Follow me?"

Nieves stared at the offered hand and back up at Lotor.

_Lancey Lance, you good with this?_

_"You're asking me?"_

_Once I make a decision there's no turning back. And you're my conscience here._

_"Aw, Snowball."_

_Pushing it..._

_"Alright... on the one hand, working with him looks pretty bad... and failing could end poorly"_

_Right. On the other?_

_"It doesn't hurt to try, especially if it buys the team time to find us and having another magic user could help Voltron. That's two against Haggar."_

_So... we're doing this?_

_"We're doing this."_

Nieves took the hand, his grip surprisingly firm if the pressure Lotor felt on his skin was anything to go by.

"I'm game."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd I do?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nieves isn't sure how this is going to work but Lotor seems to have a lot of faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late and so short. Life happened. Hard. Tbh idk when my next update will be. But thanks so much to everyone who still cares about this story.

"It's a rock. It's a glowing rock," Nieves deadpanned.

Lotor chuckled running smooth fingers over the surface.

"It's more special than that, Lance. Look closer."

Nieves leaned forward, studying it. He could feel Lance's burst recognition.

_"It's a piece of the comet! The same kind that was used to create Voltron..."_

_Well that changes things._

"Okay so it's a reality altering rock. What does it have to do with me?"

"Like I said, you might have the quintessence needed to unlock powers beyond our imagination. It will take time. And you would have to practice-"

"And if I can't? What happens if it doesn't work?" Nieves interjected.

Lotor grew eerily silent.

"Lance," he said, stepping into Nieves' space, the agent's lashes fluttering when Lotor cupped his cheek tenderly, " my mother is extremely powerful. She's not going to stop. And frankly, if you can't help me... no one can. But I have to try."

Nieves could only nod, not trusting himself to say much else.

_What is happening to me..._

_"Oh no... you like him!"_

Lotor stepped away, dropping his hand.

"You said you had conditions? Name them and I'll try to meet them to the best of my ability."

Nieves cleared his throat.

"Yes. The first thing I'll need is-"

_"Open communication with Shiro so he knows I'm okay."_

"An open line of communication with team Voltron."

Lotor already looked hestitant.

"Do you want them attacking this ship to come rescue me? Let me remind you that you did abduct me."

Lotor sighed.

"Very well. But all calls will be supervised by one of my generals at all times."

Nieves nodded.

"I will also need my bayard back."

Lotor frowned, eyes searching Nieves as if to determine if he would attack them.

Nieves rolled his eyes.

"The bayard is also made of the same matetial as the Voltron lions and I can use those principles here. And if there were to be an attack from an enemy it wouldn't do for me to be unarmed."

"Fine. I'll have Zethrid deliver it to you later today. Anything else?"

"Yeah. One more thing. If I can convince Allura to give you an audience and the two of you come to an agreement, you join the Voltron Coalition."

"I don't think-"

" I said if. And  **if** it happens it will be a lot easier for us all to work together and communicate, don't you think? Considering both parties will have weapons the Galra Empire doesn't."

Lotor pondered this for a moment, coming to a decision.

"Very well... but, only if you mediate so that both parties are satisfied."

_Think you can handle that Lancey Lance?_

_"Sure. It can't hurt."_

Nieves smirked.

"Lotor... you've yourself a deal."

Lotor smiled in response and Nieves felt his cheeks tingle at the sight.

_What the fuck..._

"I look forward to working with you Lance."

Nieves stared into his eyes and Lotor felt as if he was frozen still in a world that was spinning around him at impossible speed.

"Please, call me Nieves."

Nieves?

Huh...

Pretty.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was so short but I needed to write something and I think from here we'll be able to move along nicely.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team deals with Lance's absence.

The stars seem to blur together as the Castle floated seemingly aimless in space.

Hunk had just finished the last repairs with Coran and stood watch in the medbay while Shiro  slept. He looked peaceful.

Hunk knew better.

Shiro would come out of the pod screaming. He knew because that was how he'd come out the last few times. Hunk hadn't been there but Lance and Keith had and Lance had cried to him about it every time.

At least now he knew why Lance stayed. He thought it was just for Keith. Now he knew it was for Shiro. Perhaps it had been a little bit of both. And who could blame him?

The brothers were both brave, strong and incredibly attractive. Everyone was at least a little in love with Shiro. And Keith... Keith was different than anyone Hunk had ever known. Maybe that's why he felt-

_Hiss..._

He shook himself out of his musings as the crypod opened.

"NO, DON'T!!!" Shiro cried, stumbling out with his hand reaching out.

Hunk rushed over, putting big, warm hands on Shiro's shoulders. "Shiro, it's okay. You're safe."

Shiro looked at him, eyes slightly dazed.

"H-Hunk?"

"Yes, Shiro."

"How long was I out?"

"About half a day."

Shiro sucked in a breath.

"Any news on Lance?"

Hunk sighed.

"Not yet. We're still looking."

Shiro's face turned hard, his shoulders rigid.

"He's still out there. I need to help-"

"You need to eat-"

"But-"

"Shiro, you take care of everyone-"

"Except Lance."

Hunk's eyes narrowed. 

"You know he wouldn't hold any of this against you."

Shiro's brows furrowed in a way that told Hunk that, no, Shiro didn't know that.

Hunk shook his head.

"Look, we're gonna get you showered and fed and then you can join us in the search. Good?"

Shiro sighed, shoulders sagging.

"Fine."

____________________________________________

Keith exited the showers, his brows pinched together while he dried himself off. 

Lance was missing and it made him uneasy. He didn't like the silence it left them all with. The void was so tangible it gave them too much time to... think.

And Keith, he couldn't deal with being so in his head like this. He hadn't realized how often Lance had dragged him out of his thoughts. He'd been training for hours. Lance would usually interrupt him halfway through with the promise of Hunk's food. 

Speaking of Hunk... Keith reminded himself to check on him. He was worried about the Yellow paladin. He'd been so down earlier and Keith didn't know what to do for him. He wasn't Lance...

But maybe he didn't have to be. He'd been alone with Hunk before... they'd... bonded. Who's to say they couldn't again?

With a small but hopeful smile, he got dressed and set out to find his friend.

Because that's what they were now, wasn't it?

The thought made Keith giddy despite the cirmcumstances... and perhaps... it also made him a little greedy.

Which is why he was a tad disgruntled when he was stopped in the hallway by Coran. 

"Keith! Hunk and I just finished repairs."

That eased Keith's mood.

"Oh, good. Thanks, Coran."

"Of course..."

"Was something the matter?"

Coran looked away, hesitant.

"Coran?"

Coran shook his head, eyes suddenly more shimmery than Keith remembered.

"It's nothing. I'll head back to the bridge... check on Allura..."

Keith frowned, more concerned.

"Right..."

Coran began to walk away and Keith felt the need to say something. Anything.

"Hey, Coran?"

The older Altean paused, but his back was still to Keith. The important thing was that he was listening.

"It's okay. We all miss him."

Coran nodded, and continued his walk to the bridge, leaving Keith staring after him.

________________________________________

 When Shiro finally got to the bridge, Coran was eerily silent, staring at the expanse of space. Hunk and Keith were standing next to eachother, his brother catching sight of him and walking over.

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

Keith rest a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find him. It's only a matter of-"

He was cut off by the loud beeping of their alert signal.

He heard Allura's voice over the sound.

"Pidge what is that?"

Pidge's fingers hovered hesitantly over the control panel.

"P-Princess... we're receiving a transmission."

Allura's back straightened, her hands tightly gripping the steers of the ship.

"From who?"

Pidge tapped away at her screen, brows furrowing over bloodshot eyes. God, she was so tired. 

"I-It's from Lotor's ship."

Allura opened the transmission immediately, a hologram appearing in front of them with the figure smirking lazily, eyes trailing over the crew.

She heard Shiro's sharp intake of breath.

"Lance."

His eyes stopped on Shiro.

"Close. But not quite."

Oh.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro meets Nieves for the first time and Lance comes to a conclusion.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I thought I loved Lance, Shiro and Lotor already but season 5 had me feeling some type of way and this happened.

Shiro frowned at the image of a smirking Lance in front of him. But it wasn't Lance... not his Lance anyway.

He took a tentative step forward, ignoring the obvious tension that kept the rest of the crew silent.

"Are you... Nieves?"

Not-Lance tilted his head, an eyebrow arching curiously.

"That's right," the agent said, voice smooth as honey, "you're the only one who hasn't met me yet.... how could I have forgotten..."

Shiro watched him carefully. Nieves didn't seem all that menacing to him. But he'd been a prisoner of the galra for a year so his idea of menacing was a bit different than the rest of the crew's. 

Shiro stood straighter, mindful of Nieves' watchful eyes. He shivered involuntarily. Nieves looked almost like he could eat him.

Shiro wasn't sure he'd refuse. Lance looked at Shiro like he hung the moon and that was priceless and pure. Nieves was looking at him like he wanted to wreck him, either in bed or in battle and it made a dark part of Shiro more curious than he thought he had any right to be.

Fuck.

But if he asked for Lance...his Lance... he ran the risk of alienating Nieves and Shiro had a feeling that would be a terrible idea.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you," he said instead, finding that it wasn't the lie he expected.

Nieves scoffed nonetheless.

"Please. I'm nothing like your Lancey Lance."

Shiro shrugged.

"Maybe not," he admitted. "But you don't have to be. You can be you. And I have a feeling you two aren't as different as you'd like to think."

Nieves' eyes narrowed. "Perhaps," he conceded, leaning forward, "but aren't you going to ask for him?"

Shiro smiled.

_Gotcha._

"I think if he wants to talk to me, he can. Don't you?"

Nieves leaned back, giving Shiro a considering look.

"You're smart, Handsome."

Shiro's back shuddered again and this time Nieves smirked, the second instance confirming that the first hadn't been a fluke.

Then the agent seemed to space out, his face going blank before being broken with a gasp. 

With a more open expression and a significantly less controlled voice he cried out.

"Shiro!"

Shiro heard the group let out a collective sigh of relief as a chorus of "Lance!" flooded his ears.

"Hey there, Sharpshooter."

Lance looked at him reverently, his voice softer and eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"Shiro..."

That look. That was a look Shiro would kill for.

Once more he felt the protectiveness shift into something ferocious, something darker.

"Lance, are you okay?"

Lance nodded.

"Yeah, they haven't tortured me or anything. Lotor actually wants my help."

"What?" Allura cut in, "Lance you can't-"

"He's a prisoner, Allura!" Shiro barked, anxiety curling in his gut.

"Not quite," Lance said.

"Did Nieves put you up to it?" Coran asked.

"What? No!"

That led to another outburst.

"Lance you can't just-" 

"Keith, last time you blew up on him-"

"This isn't like last time, Pidge-"

"If either of you make him upset right now-"

"It's not like that, Shiro!" "Yeah!"

"Perhaps Number Five has a point... and  Lance's safety is priority so-"

"Paladins, please-"

Lance stared helplessly as they argued.

"ENOUGH."

The room went deathly silent, everyone turning their wide-eyed stares toward Hunk whose face was red with anger.

"You will all shut up- ah zip it, Keith!"

Keith shrunk back, avoiding his eyes and staring at the floor with a slight pout.

Hunk inhaled, closing his eyes for a moment and releasing the breath slowly.

"Everyone be quiet and let Lance tell the full story before jumping down his throat. Got it?"

Everyone nodded, turning back to Lance with sheepish looks on their faces.

Lance sent Hunk a grateful look, receiving a sunny smile in return.

Thank the stars for his best friend.

"As I was saying, Lotor wants my help. He wants to depose Zarkon and Haggar but he needs more people to counter Haggar's magic. He thinks I have the quintessence type needed to wield magic from the rift and wants me to learn magic while I'm here. He's treated me as a guest since I arrived, healing my wounds and even conceding to my conditons, one of which was open communication with you all. I also asked for him to be willing to meet with and join the coalition... of course, Allura would have to approve of it first but he's open to it if you are."

What followed was dumbfounded silence.

"So he kidnapped you on some 'yer a wizard, Lance' shit?" Pidge said.

"Pretty much. It seemed crazy to me too but it doesn't hurt to try."

"I don't know about this," Allura said. "Lotor joining the Coalition is one thing... more doable now that we've worked with the Blades for a while. But exposing you to the rift... Lance, that sounds dangerous. And I think we can all agree we don't want to risk you. A problem Lotor doesn't seem to have..."

"Yeah," said Keith. "You're our friend. Our family. And he took you away. Lance, he could get you killed. Or worse..."

Lance sighed, looking at something over his screen. The team didn't know it was Acxa, watchful and silent all the while.

"I know," he admitted, turning back to them "but he's also right. Haggar is powerful and, Allura, so are you. But there's Zarkon and the druids to contend with as well. And they're all operating on vast amounts of quintessence. I- I have to at least try."

Another heavy silence followed.

The team shared a look, various expressions of displeasure in response.

"You'll call us every day?" Shiro asked, though it was more of  a 'if we don't hear from you, we'll storm the place'.

"Shiro! We can't-"

"Keith, enough."

Keith sighed, clear frustration lining his face. He didn't like this at all.

Truthfully, neither did Shiro. But Lance needed support right now. Needed to know they had his back. And he was sure Lance's conversation was being monitored. He couldn't risk Lance's safety by refusing Lotor's conditions right now.

He looked up at Lance, noting that he looked well rested and wellfed but still wary.

"Lance, I trust you. Just... come back to us. We'll talk about Lotor joining the Coalition tomorrow and if we can all get to a place where we're comfortable, we'll meet with him."

Lance smiled, relieved. "Thank you, Shiro. Also," added turning his attention to Allura, "if he does meet with you, he wants me to mediate. So you may see me sooner than you think. Just something to keep in mind."

Allura nodded. "Understood."

Lance glanced over his screen again.

"I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you all."

"We love you, too," whispered Shiro.

"Yeah buddy! More than you know," Hunk chimed.

The last thing they saw was Lance's soft smile before the screen faded.

Shiro heard Coran sigh behind him.

"My boy..."

Shiro turned, resting a hand on his shoulder. "We'll get him back."

"Yeah, duh," said Hunk, "but there's Lotor, too. How do we justify bringing him into the Coalition?"

Allura sighed, shaking her head at the situation.

"It certainly won't be easy... but perhaps it's not impossible."

 "We'll figure this out," said Pidge, voice hard with determination. "I told Lance we wouldn't forget about him and I'm gonna make good on that."

The team nodded.

"Right!"

____________________________________________

Lance sighed, sinking back into his chair as the last few minutes sunk in.

_"At least they know I'm okay..."_

_Yeah but who knows how long we'll be here and how they'll manage a polite meeting with Lotor. I doubt Allura is jumping at that chance. Then again, Shiro might be able to work some magic for us._

_"I'm not as worried about that as you think. I think Lotor is genuine about bringing down Zarkon and Haggar and doing things differently- even if he has a weird way of showing it."_

_Like kidnapping you?_

_"Well... yeah that..."_

_And?_

_"I don't know how this magic stuff is supposed to work. I'm not sure we'll be able to pull it off."_

_We?_

_"Yeah, Snow, WE. We both have to find some kind of equilibrium to be able to connect with the rift."_

_Okay but I'm the mean one. Dont you think I'll be more corruptable?_

_"I don't think the goal is to be pure morally... I think the trick might be having a neutral balanced energy."_

_Okay... so... we would have to- wait... you don't mean-_

_"Yes, Snow. I mean we're going to have to fuse together and become one person."_

_Shit._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was debating whether or not to take Shiro in a different direction for a while and season 5 cemented it for me. Grey Shiro ahead.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor meets Lance.

Lotor looked up as the doors to the dining hall slid open, Acxa entering with Lance close behind. Lotor locked eyes with Acxa and she gave him a meaningful nod. He visibly relaxed. No problems then- but she had something to tell him... He shifted his gaze to Lance. The paladin seemed, off. Not as confident or menacing but still alert as ever. Lotor knew he was being observed but somehow the other felt more approachable and...open.

"Nieves?"

Lance winced slightly but obviously enough for Lotor to take notice. Odd...

"Are you alright?"

Lance smiled, and Lotor realized it was meant to be reassuring and so unlike his previous experience with him.

"Well, I don't know," Lance replied honestly.

Lotor hummed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well, don't call me Nieves for one thing..."

Lotor frowned. "But you asked me to."

"Oh. see, about that..."

Lotor arched a brow.

"Yes?"

Lance took a breath, not avoiding Lotor's eyes.

"I'm sure Acxa was gonna tell you later-"

"Correct-"

"But Nieves is someone else. I'm Lance."

Lotor's eyes narrowed.

"I don't believe I follow."

 Lance sighed.

"I'm one body but two people. Nieves has control sometimes and other times I do. The person you talked to last time is Nieves."

Lotor leaned back into his chair. 

"I see. Nieves said he wasn't a hero..."

"He's not."

"And you?"

"I try to be."

Lance tried not to shrink under Lotor's scrutinizing stare but the prince seemed to like what he saw because his eyes softened.

"You're the kind one. He's the warrior."

Lance glanced away, giving a hesitant nod.

"I guess you could say that but lately..." he trailed off.

Lotor leaned forward.

"Lately?..."  he prodded, gently.

"Well he's picking up my habits and I'm picking up his. Our psyche became split a few years back but they're starting to... I don't know-"

"Overlap?"

"Yes, exactly!"

Lotor paused in thought, a puzzled expression on his face that Lance found cute. He fought the urge to smile fondly.

_Ha!_

_"Shut up, Snow."_

_I told you he was hot._

_"Okay, so?"_

_I wonder if he's single..._

_"Doesn't matter because I'm not."_

_You and Shiro aren't official._

_"Still..."_

_And poly relationships are a thing._

_"How progressive of you..."_

_I'm just saying!_

_"I still haven't had a conversation like that with Shiro and I don't even know Lotor like that and neither do you! "_

_Fair but if he screws me over I can just kill him._

_"Jesus, Snow..."_

_What? You wouldn't kill Shiro if he tore your heart out._

_"..."_

_Knew it._

Lotor's amused chuckle broke him out if his argument with the agent.

"You're so expressive. I truly see the difference now."

Lance huffed.

"I guess. it doesn't help that Nieves is annoying as fuck."

"You two talk often?"

"Oh, all the time! he's an asshole."

Lotor shook his head fondly.

"Perhaps he's not as terrible as you think."

"I know he's not... he just frustrates me is all.'

"So who came first?"

Lance frowned. "Hmm?"

"You said your psyche split years ago," Lotor said.

"Oh! He did. He was an assassin and spy so everything that makes me "me" was repressed until he was turned into a sleeper agent. When the effects wore off, instead of just going back to himself, we both shared this body. And now here we are."

"And you said your personalities have begun to overlap..."

"Yes?"

Lotor's eyes lit up.

"So I was correct then."

"Huh?"

"When I said your quintessence was versatile? It might be proven in the fact that not only do you have two personalities, but they're beginning to merge as they should have in the earlier years of your life."

That gave Lance pause.

"Huh... so you think we may be becoming one full and more rounded person instead of two extreme opposites?"

"Precisely!"

"That... actually sounds cool and might be necessary."

"I've only seen this done through corrupt forms..."

"Well my way wasn't exactly pure."

"That may be true but your current state doesn't seem to be the result of tainted magic. Haggar is able to do similar things but her methods are far more insidious and more difficult to reverse- not impossible but still, difficult."

"I see."

Lotor smirked.

"Careful now. You're beginning to sound like me."

Lance smirked back, traces of Nieves now detectable to the prince.

"Is that a bad thing?"

Lotor stood, offering his arm and helping Lance up, piercing eyes looking down at him and warming Lance from his head to his toes.

_"Uh oh..."_

"I guess we'll have to see."

Lance swallowed.

"I guess so."

He made sure to keep his expression neutral as Lotor lead him out to the lab, Nieves' smug triumph burning in the back of his mind.

Acxa watched them leave, a curious arch to her brow as Ezor materialized next to her, oddly silent.

They had much to talk about.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh? What's this? Another short chapter that took me forever to get to? Welp.  
> Enjoy!

The walk back to their room was tense. They had just left the dining room when Ezor spoke up.

"Acxa-"

"Not here."

Ezor sighed, nodding.

They arrived at their room finally and Acxa waited a moment after the doors slid shut to speak.

"Did you see what I saw?"

"Kova slinking around without Narti while Lotor and Blue Boy were talking in the dining room? Yeah. And Lotor didn't even notice. Which is odd."

Acxa nodded pacing the floor.

"Precisely. Our guest, from what I have observed, bears Lotor no ill will. But he does pose some risk due to his split mind and he is a definite distraction. On top of that, the feline has been acting odd ever since Narti last accompanied Lotor to Zarkon's ship. Which means we have to be hypervigilant. For Lotor's safety and ours."

Ezor sighed, plopping down onto their bed.

"Should we tell Zethrid?"

Acxa paused in front of her, deliberating.

"Not yet... However, we could urge her to keep near Lance."

Ezor smirked.

"I don't think that will be a problem."

* * *

Lotor sighed as Lance let out another growl of frustration and turned away from the remains of the transreality comet.

"This isn't working... I just can't do it."

Lotor shook his head.

"Try a different approach. and have _patience_."

"But I-"

"Have you ever tried actually believing in yourself?"

Lance's mouth snapped shut as he averted his eyes. Lotor noted his arms had come up to cross over his chest.

"I..."

Lotor stepped forward, taking Lance's arms and gently pulling them apart.

"Your problem is that you aren't open."

Lance looked at him, an unimpressed look on his face.

"Really? Mr. Dark and Mysterious? I'm not open?"

Lotor took the comment in stride, recognizing it's validity despite the sarcasm.

"I meant to yourself and your own potential. What are you afraid of? You could have so much power at your finger tips and yet you shy away from it."

Lance pulled away, and though Lotor let him go he immediately felt the loss of warmth beneath his hands.

"I feel so overwhelmed and so powerless sometimes. I don't want to gain this power just to... lose myself to it."

Lotor nodded in understanding.

"You fear loss of control. You fear becoming something you no longer recognize. Perhaps a form of yourself you current self would find... unacceptable."

Lance sighed, turning back to Lotor. This time when Lotor looked at him he could really see the vulnerability.

"Yeah. It's  a fear I've had since Nieves and I started sharing the reigns. This just adds to the stress."

Lotor hummed.  "Then perhaps we can put this on hold and our priority should be focused elsewhere for now."

Lance perked up, this time coming closer on his own and Lotor forced down the rising gratification that threatened to show on his face at the fact.

"So what do we do then?"

"We merge the two of you together, you and Nieves. I thought to wait for you two to do it on your own but perhaps we can accelerate it somehow."

Lance stayed silent, Nieves' voice ringing in his head.

_It could have its benefits..._

_"I know."_

_And its disadvantages._

_"I know."_

_On the one hand, you could gain my skills. On the other, I could gain your sentimentality. It would be the best and worst of both of us put together. My need to get the job done could be compromised by emotion..._

_"And my compassion could be overruled by your violence, calculated or not. We would be an entirely new person. Both of us would cease to exist and be reborn as someone new. Someone we've never been."_

_True. Is it worth it, though, or not?_

Lance paused, realizing Lotor was watching him, perhaps aware of the internal argument taking place in his mind. He looked back at the comet fragment, it's glow calling to him and yet...

Lotor watched Lance with his heart in his throat. He needed this to work. The universe needed this to work. And all of it hinged on Lance's decision.

When Lance turned to him Lotor expected resolution. He exected fear. He did not however expect the expression of profound trust. This time, Lance offered his hand first.

"Let's do it."

* * *

 

 

 He wasn't sure it would work. He wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing. But he figured he had to try.

The truth is Shiro refused to believe he did all of that bonding with Black for nothing.

He entered the cockpit of the Black Lion, sitting down in the familiar pilots seat.

"You trusted me once... I need you to trust me again."

He closed his eyes.

"Lance is gone. we are down another paladin again... and I refuse to sit here and do nothing while the rest of the team puts their lives on the line."

Nothing.

He gritted his teeth.

"I just want to do my part. Why won't you let me?"

Silence.

He stood from his seat, slamming a fist against the console.

"Dammit! For once in my life I had at chance at love. I thought I would die never knowi-" he choked on his words, a broken sob cutting him off. "I- I thought I would die in a cell or in the Arena and I didn't. I lived to be a paladin... and I hated it. Because I thought I would die doing that too. There was no end. But I learned that I wasn't just fighting for my life anymore. I was fighting for Keith to belong. I was fighting for Hunk to have faith. For Pidge to find her family. For Allura and Coran to have hope. I was fighting for Lance... Lance... and the love I have for him."

More silence.

Shiro sighed.

"I had purpose. And regardless of what you think I... I still have that purpose."

He was nearly knocked on his ass when Black moved, flaring to life, her presence once more establishing residence in his mind as their quintessence connected.

_Yes my paladin. You certainly do. With or without me. Though I believe you know my preference. Besides, your brother is a fast learner but his hands are not as steady._

Joy built up in Shiro in the form of bubbling laughter. He sank into his pilot's seat. 

"I missed you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ejejeje...


	14. Not a chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S6

So... after I went through the stages of grief I decided I was still stanning Lotor. However, going forward I'm gonna take some of s6 and do it how I think it should've been done.

Tbh at first I wasn't sure I could continue this fic at all after that mess but I'm gonna find a way.

Thanks to everyone who is moving forward with me. 

To those who are not...

I understand.

-Cyborg


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all is as it seems.

Lance sighed for the hundredth time that day as he entered the staff kitchen with Zethrid following closely behind.

He stopped in his tracks.

“Zeth, I don’t need you to babysit me,” he said.

Her lips quirked at the nickname. Lance had been onboard for well over a week now and she hadn’t left his side apart from when he was asleep.

“Maybe so, little Flower. But perhaps I enjoy your company.”

_We sure are popular, aren’t we?_

_“Shut. Up. Snow.”_

_I’m just sayin’._

Lance rolled his eyes at the agent, turning fully to look at Zethrid.

“What did you do before I came along?”

Zethrid’s head tilted adorably, her ears twitching.

“Aside from annoy Lotor and the other generals?”

Lance’s heart clenched at the familiarity of her words. He hoped she didn’t think her presence was unwanted. He’d been there… he just didn’t want her hovering when they could just get to know each other.

“I’m sure they enjoy your company, Zeth.”

She shrugged.

“I guess. When I’m not with them I throw stuff at the guards. Ezor joins me for that sometimes.”

He winced. “Isn’t that a bit mean?”

She barked a laugh. “The guards here are sentries.”

“Ah,” he said. “Well… how about you join me in my rooms for some relaxation after we’re done here?”

Her ears flattened as her body tensed and he noted her cheeks coloring. “Ahem, I don’t really swing that way, Flower.”

Lance blanched. “Not like that! I meant I have some ingredients I found onboard for facials. Like a spa day.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “I see. You are suggesting pampering of the grooming kind?”

He nodded, a beaming smile on his face. “Self-care is important, Zeth.”

“I like that.”

“Hmm?”

“The endearment,” she said, leading him to a counter and reaching for the bowls, “I like it. It can stay.”

“Glad to hear it,” he said, eyes soft. “Now let’s make some sugar scrubs.”

_________________________________________

 

Lotor’s expression was unreadable as he leaned forward in his chair.

“You’re absolutely certain you saw this?”

Acxa nodded. “Yes. Kova has been behaving strangely. We fear something may be amiss with Narti, though we are still unsure what. Kova never leaves her side and Narti could’ve joined us in the dining room f she wished. What need would she have to send the cat to spy?”

Lotor shifted his gaze to Ezor.

“You were there without my knowledge as well, Ezor.”

Acxa nodded. “Yes, sir, but that was due to your lack of vigilance.”

His eyes narrowed. “I beg your pardon?”

Ezor sighed.

“Invisible or not. You always know when I’m in the room. Your senses always pick up that something is off.”

“You’ve been distracted,” Acxa said plainly.

Lotor leaned back. “By what, pray tell?”

“More like who,” Ezor grumbled, causing Lotor’s head to snap in her direction.

“You mean Lance?”

They were silent, but they didn’t deny it.

“The work we are doing is extremely important.”

“I understand that, sir. However, you still have people who rely on you. Don’t forget. Please.”

His eyes softened. “Yes, of course. Please keep an eye on Narti and inform me of any changes.”

The generals pressed their fists to their chests and left, leaving Lotor alone to his thoughts.

They were right.

Lance was a distraction.

He heard the other man’s voice nearing, and the familiar voice of Zethrid accompanying.

They passed the great hall and Lance locked eyes with the prince, smiling in greeting.

Lotor smiled back before he could stop himself, a fact which Zethrid noticed if her smirk was anything to go by.

He really needed to get himself together.

He was brought out of his musings by the sound of his communicator. He waited until Lance was out of sight to answer, a familiar face materializing in front of him. The hologram flickered due to the long distance, but he could see the pointed ears and telltale facial markings.

Lotor’s eyes narrowed.

“You know why we keep communications scarce. Is this an emergency?”

The figure nodded. “Yes, your highness. It appears we have a security breach in the Memorial Lab.”

He stood, fists clenched.

“Who is responsible for this?”

“The sister of Bandor, sir.”

His face fell.

This could be go very wrong.

“Romelle…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not really edited this. I just needed to write. I'm still very mad. Also Lotor's arc may take a different direction than initially planned. It's gonna be a mix of my stuff, canon, minus the madness.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bump in the road to honesty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry ya'll. This chapter is short and I haven't updated in forever. My motivation has been so low. I hope this is okay.

"Aargggh!"

Lotor winced at Lance's frustrated yell. The comet piece had barely reacted to him. He had been at it for hours already and the comet had only flittered with light but a few times.

"I can't do this."

Lotor sighed, laying a hand on Lance's shoulder.

"Lance, it was only your first try. Don't be hard on yourself just yet."

Lance shook his head.

"I'm not the magical type. What if I don't get this?"

"Then I'll return you to your friends and we'll make do with Voltron."

Lance's head snapped in his direction.

"Really?"

"Really," Lotor assured. "The universe needs Voltron. I just thought we could unlock more of the comets gifts to speed up the process..."

"Process?"

Lotor didn't elaborate.

Lance seemed to space out before he spoke, taking a new tone.

"What aren't you telling me?"

Nieves.

"Nothing, I-"

He was cut off as the agent slammed him against a wall, pressing Lotor's own blade to his throat. Lotor stared at him in shock, shaking it off when he caught sight of Ezor and Acxa approaching silently and ready to strike.

"Stop or he dies," Nieves said coldly, not even turning to look at them.

They stopped, glancing at eachother at loss.

"Nieves, please be reasonable-" he pleaded, trying to de-escalate.

Blue eyes narrowed with cold fury.

"Reasonable? You abduct me after trying to kill me and my friends so you could use me and Lance in your little experiment. Meanwhile you're keeping secrets. Now you ask for reason?"

"Your friends?"

Nieves paused. He'd only ever referred to them as Lance's friends...

"Yes. My friends. I had hoped to make you a friend as well seeing as I am so new to this "friends business". I didn't kill you and your crew. I didn't just take this comet fragment. But I could've."

Lotor frowned.

"Why didn't you?"

He felt the blade digging deeper into his skin.

"Because I thought you'd understand me. Because LANCE thought you could help us. But if you've been lying to us-"

"I haven't."

"Then tell the truth," Nieves growled, patience wearing thin.

Lotor let out a shaky breath, all his shame nearly consuming him.

"I did something awful. I'm trying to make it right, but I alone do not have the means."

He felt the blade loosen slightly and determined that Nieves knew he was being honest.

"What did you do?"

"To save the many, I had to sacrifice the few."

"Stop being cryptic!"

"I saved the Alteans! They are not extinct."

Nieves froze. He didn't understand.

"Why would you hide that? That's hero shit."

Lotor sighed, the weight of the universe on his shoulders.

"Lance would appreciate that aspect. My methods were something only you would understand."

Nieves closed his eyes, breathing in and out.

His eyes opened, wide and bright with compassion.

"Try me."

Lance.

 


End file.
